


Drowning in Debt

by okikaguslut



Category: Gintama
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Drabble, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Hate to Love, Humor, Light Angst, Love/Hate, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-28 03:16:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14440287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okikaguslut/pseuds/okikaguslut
Summary: Sougo saves Kagura's life. Chaos ensues.





	1. Don't Underestimate Bruce Lee!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment/kudos if you like the fic! or if you have any ideas for the story! this fic is basically a rewrite of an older fic i wrote a couple years ago & never got around to finishing :^)

Fifteen days.

Kagura’s stomach growled with a ferociousness that matched Sadaharu’s.

Fifteen days since their last job.

Shinpachi left the front _shoji_ door open in the hopes of enticing customers, but there was something about the refreshing breeze blowing in that annoyed her immensely. 

“Where the hell is everyone?” Gintoki tapped his boot against his desk impatiently. His pinky finger was jammed up his right nostril, searching for boogers that were already long picked and discarded.

“Maybe it’s the slow season for odd jobs!”

“Kagura-chan, I don’t think there is such a thing.”

“Shut up, Four-Eyes!” The pangs of hunger made her more irritated than usual.

Gintoki interjected, “Okay. I know this is a tough time right now but we’ve been through tougher. Remember when Ketsuno Ana announced her engagement to that weatherman on the channel five news? Or when they were sold out of the latest One Piece volume at the bookstore last week? This is nothing compared to that. We’re just going through a bit of a dry spell.”

“Well, what are we going to do then?” Shinpachi folded his arms together.

“First off, I can’t pay you guys.”

Glowering, Shinpachi replied, “You’ve never paid us before anyways.”

“Why don’t we start with getting some real food?” Gintoki stared longingly at the empty carton of strawberry milk on his desk. “All we have left is that disgusting sukonbu crap.”

Before Kagura could process his insult, an idea flashed into her mind. They obviously couldn’t purchase any groceries and Shinpachi would be against any option that included petty theft. Plus, dealing with the notorious Shinsengumi wasn’t something she had in mind today.

“I’ll go down to the river and catch some fish for us, yes?”

And before either of them could utter another word, she sprinted out the door with her umbrella in one hand and a half-eaten stick of sukonbu in the other.

 

* * *

 

It was a nice excuse to get out of the house; she needed a break from Gintoki’s slovenly habits and Shinpachi’s constant nagging. She briefly recalled Anego telling her that being surrounded by too much testosterone would make you sick in the head, like the majority of men in Edo.

Overhead, the clear sky reflected a brilliant shade of blue that rivalled her eyes. Pale pink petals that survived the spring were clinging onto cherry blossom trees, each gust of summer wind threatening to detach them. Barely visible wisps of clouds drifted lazily across the sky. The faint chirping of cicadas signalled the start of summer. Ten minutes in the direct heat would be enough for a hospital visit, which was why she opted for her sleeveless _cheongsam_.

Despite the increasing temperature, the river’s rapids were still fairly frigid. After wading into thigh-deep water, she started her search. With her lightning-fast reflexes, it didn’t take long to procure a sizeable mountain of fish. Kagura inhaled deeply, adjusting the grip on her umbrella and letting the fresh air enter her lungs. It was so nice to get out of the house.

“Oi, China.”

She spoke too soon.

“What the hell do you want, tax robber? Here to rob more taxes?” She didn’t need to look up to see who the voice belonged to. It grated her nerves every time she heard it.

“I want you to stop breaking the law,” Sougo replied from the top of the riverbank. He reached for his sword and pulled it out in one clean, experienced motion. The blade glistened menacingly in the sunlight.

The sound of sharpened steel being unsheathed was enough to put her on edge. If it was a fight he wanted, it was a fight he was going to get, but before she could fire a few shots from her umbrella, Sougo tapped a large sign beside him with the back end of his sword. In bold letters, the sign read : **NO FISHING ALLOWED. VIOLATORS WILL BE FINED 20,000 YEN.**

“So Miss Piggy, it seems like you’re either too stupid to read or too ignorant to follow the rules.”

“Why don’t you go bother someone else you stalker? Taking after your gorilla boss, aren’t you? It’s disgusting.” Kagura plucked another large fish out of the raging current and just to spite him, threw it in his direction. It was unlikely that he would dirty his hands over such a small misdemeanor (although the growing pile of dead fish was anything but small).

It only took her a split second to dodge the large, oncoming projectile.

“Damn. I missed,” Sougo grumbled, hoisting the hefty bazooka onto his shoulder again. “Last warning China. Out of the river. Now.”

“Go to hell!”

A small crowd eventually gathered along the riverbank, watching the deadly exchange of bullets and bombs. After the smoke settled, it was clear that neither of them had the upper hand. They were evenly matched.

Kagura snorted, “Hah - are you even trying? Looks like you got weaker, yes?”

“Why you little....”

Performing her best Bruce Lee impression, Kagura displayed a series of acrobatic moves which served no other purpose than to taunt him. On the landing of a particularly impressive flip, she rolled her ankle and fell backwards. The tumble knocked the wind out of her lungs and that emptiness was soon replaced with water. The powerful current swept her a good twenty feet from where she first fell, and unable to grip any of the riverbed’s slippery rocks, she was dragged toward deeper waters.

_Health me! Gin-chan! Shinpachi!_

Her throat couldn’t form any audible words. Overwhelmed and battered by the violent rapids, she felt the strength in her limbs fade. Was this really how she was going to die? Drowning like Jiraiya-sensei? Unable to maintain consciousness, Kagura closed her eyes to let the cold darkness wash over her.


	2. Kugimiya Rie is the Queen of Tsunderes

Sougo stifled a snicker. He put down his bazooka and watched her limp body float downstream. Thirty long seconds passed.

“You gotta be kidding me.”

Throwing caution to the wind, Sougo started sprinting along the edge of the riverbank. There was no way in hell he was going to let her drown. Not that he cared about her safety, but if she was going to die, it would be by his hands in a proper battle. He wasn’t about to let some freak accident take that dream away from him. He jumped into the water without hesitation. The current did most of the work so it didn’t take very long to reach her. He looped her lifeless arm around his neck, struggling to maintain both their heads above the water. The monstrous eater was a lot heavier than she looked. Upon reaching the riverbank, he tossed her body onto the ground and kicked her hard in the ribs - payback for the familiar biting pain of muscle fatigue he was experiencing.

There was no response.

“Get up. Or I’m going to throw you back in.”

Still no response. It didn’t seem like she was playing dead. Not like the time she faked her own death for the sake of teaching the Yorozuya a lesson. Sougo bent down to place an ear next to her drooling mouth, taking a fleeting moment to admire the uncanny resemblance to the dead fish she had just collected, and listened carefully.

She wasn’t breathing.

A rush of adrenaline coursed through his veins. A member of the universe’s most powerful alien tribe was done in by a botched Bruce Lee impression? Without having time to consider the ridiculousness of it all, he pinched her nose and closed his mouth over hers. Recalling the knowledge of basic first aid he learned in the early days of joining the Shinsengumi, he breathed out and watched her chest rise. He interlocked his fingers, pressed down two inches and let her chest rise again. After twenty more compressions, his face was met with an uncontrollable stream of projectile vomit.

“Oi, oi, are you serious? This is how I get thanked?” Sougo scrambled towards the edge of the water, attempting to wash the mosaic of unidentifiable substances off his face.

“W-w-what do you t-think you’re doing?” Kagura breathed heavily, clutching her chest. “You were t-touching me there, w-weren’t you?! Someone! Anyone! Call the police!”

“I’m a police officer. And cut the tsundere act. You’ll never be as good as Kugimiya Rie.” Sougo stood up, ran his fingers through his damp hair and continued. “You were drowning, you idiot. I had to save you so I expect compensation for this.” He was fully expecting a witty remark, but it looked like she was too weary to banter. With a dejected sigh, Sougo grumbled, “Just go home China. You’ve caused enough trouble for me today.”

Hacking up a piece of what he thought was seaweed, Kagura choked out, “I n-need my umbrella... where’s my umbrella?”

“I don’t know. It probably washed down the river somewhere when you fell.”

Her pale features were contorted into an expression of pain and discomfort. Clearly the sun was no friend of hers and he knew this exceptionally well because he tried to roast her alive in a makeshift tanning bed coffin a couple weeks prior. However, he was tired and she was tired. Neither of them had the energy left to bicker.

Sougo slipped his arms out of his Shinsengumi jacket and dropped the heavy, damp article of clothing over her head. “I expect that returned to me dry-cleaned, along with your twenty thousand yen fine. You’ll need to add another twenty thousand as an inconvenience fee for all my hard work.”

Kagura opened her mouth to protest, but halted immediately when she witnessed the malicious smirk creeping up his lips. It was a purely sadistic smile.

“And don’t forget now China. You owe me your life.”


	3. Stalker vs. Sadist

Kagura awoke to a blinding sliver of artificial light.

“Wake up, Kagura-chan! I made you salmon _ochazuke_ \- your favourite!”

Groggily, she pulled herself up. Her entire body ached in response, especially her ribs. Once her vision adjusted to her surroundings, she made out the blurry silhouette of Shinpachi, standing with a tray of food in front of the broom closet she called her bedroom. Once her nose caught the intoxicating aroma of an actual meal - which she hadn’t had in days - she tackled him in an aggressive effort to consume it.

Gintoki stepped into the living room. “You’re finally awake. You’ve been asleep for three days.”

“Gin-chan!” she exclaimed, wiping the white specks of rice from her mouth. “I had a terrible dream... I dreamt that I almost drowned in the river!”

“Uh, I think that was real. You came home and passed out at the doorway,” Shinpachi grumbled as he picked the dirty utensils off the floor. “How on Earth did that happen to you?”

Gintoki interrupted by clearing his throat. “Don’t worry Shinpachi. I’m going to the Shinsengumi. It’s their job to investigate cases like this. Those lazy bastards don’t do any real work around this town.” He slid Lake Toya securely against his belt.

“Please try not to cause trouble Gin-san,” Shinpachi warned as he unhooked something from the coat hanger. “Although I guess it can’t be helped... we need to return this jacket anyways. I wonder who it belongs to?”

Her eyes widened to the point where she thought they would fall out of their sockets. Kagura screeched, “NO! I-I’ll return it!” She couldn’t risk either of them finding out what had really happened; she wouldn’t be able to live down the embarrassment of losing to her rival in such a lame fashion. This only confirmed that the horrific event that transpired several days ago was 100% real, and not a vivid nightmare induced by acute starvation.

“That’s fine, but are you going to be okay by yourself?” Shinpachi asked worriedly.

“I’ll be okay! Give it to me!”

Raising an eyebrow Shinpachi noted, “Kagura-chan, this isn’t like you. You normally hate visiting their headquarters. You said it smells like gorillas and mayonnaise.” Cautiously, he handed the jacket over. It was dry-cleaned and hung neatly on a wire hanger.

“W-well... I’ve been resting for a while already you know?” The corner of her mouth twitched violently as she snatched the jacket from Shinpachi’s grasp. “You guys should relax today, uh huh!”

“If you insist...” Gintoki shrugged his shoulders. With a tired yawn, he plopped down onto the couch and grabbed his Shounen Jump.

“Oh, before I forget!” Shinpachi reached behind the couch, pulled out a purple umbrella and handed it to her. “Okita-san dropped this off late last night. Says he found it on night patrol. That’s no good Kagura-chan, you shouldn’t be so careless with important things like this.”

"Who the hell is Okita-san?”

With a single deadpan eye peering over the edge of his Shounen Jump, Gintoki said, “He means Souichiro-kun.”

“Who the hell is Souichiro-kun?”

“The one you’re always fighting with. Seriously, how do you not know this by now?” Shinpachi sighed.

With bulging eyes, she gripped the wire hanger so tightly it snapped clean in half. She could hardly reflect on Shinpachi’s scolding with the blood rushing to her head. That sadist saved her life and also retrieved her lost umbrella for her? The mortification was too much to bear.

Not only was she in debt to him, but he now possessed the ability to blackmail her. A shudder shot down her spine just thinking about it. With his twisted personality, there was no telling what ideas he had in mind. There was only one thing to do: step into the belly of the beast and find out for herself.

 

* * *

 

Kagura’s eyes locked onto the fearful expressions of the Shinsengumi men; she was infamous around their headquarters. Not only was she part of the Yorozuya - which was a daily source of trouble for the Shinsengumi - but she was a Yato too. A stubborn and short-tempered Yato with a tendency to resort to physical violence to get her way. It wasn’t the first time she came to their headquarters to start a fight and it wouldn’t be the last. She cleared her throat, enjoying how the men trembled at the sound, and barked, “So not a single person here will tell me where he is?!”

“H-h-he’s in the west w-wing!”

“Shut up! Okita- _taichou_ will have your head if anyone disturbs his rest!”

“Either w-way she’s just going to beat the information out of us like last time....”

“That’s true, but what’s worse? Getting killed by Okita- _taichou_ or the Yorozuya girl?”

“Both are shit options.”

“Thank you!” Kagura’s face brightened up. “And getting killed by me is way worse, so you made the right choice.” She spun on her heel and started towards the west end of their headquarters. It was a spacious area, so it would take time to find him. Luckily, she had all day and it wasn’t long before she ran into some familiar faces.

“Oh, what an unexpected surprise! What brings you here today?” Kondo stopped to greet her with Hijikata reluctantly in tow.

“Gorilla! Toshi!” She waved at the Shinsengumi duo. “I’m here to see that stupid sadist. Any idea where he is?”

“Don’t call me Toshi,” Hijikata muttered as he took a long puff of his cigarette. “He came back to headquarters drenched and in a foul mood few days ago. You know anything about that?”

“What Toshi means is that he’s currently resting. He caught a fever and is recovering in his room,” Kondo explained, wringing his hands nervously. Dealing with the Yorozuya was tricky because everything was directly reported back to Otae. They told each other everything.

“If you’re here to fight with him, forget it. We have enough on our hands today.” Hijikata extinguished the dying butt of his cigarette underneath his foot.

“I’m not. I’m just delivering something.”

Hijikata raised an eyebrow. “Oh. Why do you have that jacket? Did he send you to pick up his dry cleaning or something?”

“Like hell I would do that!”

It was clear that she was getting annoyed by the interrogation. Taking immediate note of this, Kondo took a step in front of Hijikata and exclaimed, “No matter! He’s right along this way!” Ignoring Hijikata’s protests, he led her to a small room tucked within the west wing. Kagura examined the flimsy paper note taped to the door. It was a ‘ _do not disturb_ ’ sign, but as she looked more closely, someone haphazardly scribbled ‘ _unless you want to die a slow, painful death_ ’ underneath.

“Well I’m not going to be around when he wakes up,” Hijikata heaved a sigh. “I’ll go warn the other men.”

“And why don’t I come with you?” Kondo gripped onto Hijikata’s sleeve as he was turning to leave. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine! Toshi is just exaggerating!”

Kondo’s actions certainly didn’t match his words. As the commander and vice-commander made their shaky exit, Kagura turned to face the door. She felt guilty. It was one of the last emotions she wanted to feel, but she had to admit that this entire situation was her fault. Gripping the edge of the _shoji_ door, she slid it open silently and closed it securely behind her. He kept his room neat and tidy - the complete opposite of her own living quarters. She spotted his sleeping figure sandwiched between a thick futon and a duvet blanket. The feeling of guilt she experienced earlier was replaced with embarrassment. Why was she sneaking around his room while he was sleeping? It was the ultimate act of a stalker.

_At this rate, I’ll end up like Sacchan..._

Unable to help herself, she stole a quick glimpse at his face to confirm he was asleep. Vulnerable was the only word that came to mind. She couldn’t ever recall seeing him look so serene. It took her by complete surprise that he was even capable of making such an innocent face - he was far from innocent after all. Gingerly, she set down the jacket beside him. The future looked bleak. With a defeated sigh, she took one last look at his face. A weary set of vacant eyes stared back.

Kagura’s first instinct, rather than explain herself like any other rational person, was to fight. She lunged for her umbrella. A blinding glint of steel knocked it out of her hands.

“You’ve got some nerve China,” Sougo chuckled deeply as he slowly rose from his futon. The hoarse, husky sound of sleep and sickness were present in the back of his throat. “Coming to kill me in my own room? With the Shinsengumi around? That’s gutsy, even for you.”

“I wasn’t trying to kill you! Not yet at least....”

“Care to explain yourself then?” He kept his blade pointed in her direction.

“I was returning your jacket!” Kagura huffed angrily as she retrieved her umbrella. “And why the hell do you sleep with your sword? I swear, all you samurai men are the same...”

“I can’t afford to let my guard down. Case in point.”

“Whatever. I’m leaving.” Kagura rolled her eyes, trying to hide her embarrassment underneath a facade of disdain. Damn him. He always got her riled up.

Knowing it would elicit some sort of a response from her, Sougo replied, “If you really want to watch me sleep, you don’t need to sneak into my room. You just need to ask nicely and I can fulfill all your stalker fantasies.”

Kagura fired a warning shot from her umbrella. The bullet whizzed through the fabric of Sougo’s pants and punctured the _tatami_ mats behind him. “I’m no stalker, uh huh! I came here to set things straight, but this place smells like gorillas and mayonnaise. I can’t stand it one second longer.”

“I saved your life, so you will spend the rest of your existence paying me back.” He paused for a moment to pat out the smoke rising from the bullet hole in his clothes. “Is it really that hard to follow? Maybe I need to speak slower for your brain to understand.”

Kagura fired another shot. This time, the bullet grazed the edge of his cheek. To her discontent, he barely flinched. “Ten favours from the Yorozuya. That’s it.”

“No, not from the Yorozuya. I want them from you,” Sougo replied as he traced the cut on his face with his fingertips. Minuscule droplets of blood began to bleed through the wound. “Watch it with that thing. I’ll have you arrested for assault against a police officer.”

Through gritted teeth, she spat, “Fine.” She knew he wasn’t the type to give up easily, and if all she had to do were a couple of favours, then she had no choice. “You don’t say a word to anyone about any of this, yes?”

“Deal. See how easy that was?” Sougo smirked as he sheathed his sword. “Now please leave. My head is pounding, no thanks to you.” He rubbed small circles into his temples for added emphasis.

“My mami says fools don’t get colds. You’re just faking to get paid sick days,” Kagura accused. She walked towards the door and paused before she reached it. “Once this is over, I challenge you to a proper duel. Winner take all!”

“Fine by me. Try not to drown next time though.”

In a fit of frustration, Kagura gripped her umbrella like a baseball bat and sent the _shoji_ door flying into the distance. It landed in the middle of a Shinsengumi squadron performing sword exercises. She turned around and barked, “I’ll kill you, you hear me?! Just you wait!”

“Yes, yes. Message received loud and clear.”

Kagura stormed off. Anything within thirty feet of her was a target, and by the time she passed through their front doors, her temper tantrum left behind a bloody trail of bruised bodies and broken swords.


	4. When Breaking A Chuubert In Half, The End With The Knob Should Be Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yay, update! i will be going on vacation for a little bit, so my next update might be a bit delayed.  
> thanks again for reading!

The days passed by without major incident. The increasing level of crime in Edo kept him occupied.

Arrest, ticket, fine. Rinse and repeat.

He was getting burnt out. Sougo pinched the bridge of his nose in a meek effort to ease the building pressure in his head. He internally braced himself for a conversation as the sound of determined footsteps approached his office.

“Oi Sougo. Did you finish the paperwork for the Joui case?”

“Hijikata-san, please. I’m too busy at the moment. Check back in a year.”

“You’re fucking napping!”

Sougo lifted one side of his eye mask up and leaned back in his seat. “How rude. You’re impeding me during my thought process.”

“Just forget it. I’ll do it myself.” Hijikata snatched the leaning tower of paperwork off his desk. He muttered a string of angry profanities as he struggled to catch the papers that drifted to the ground while he walked away.

Well, that was one problem solved.

Pushing hismask all the way up to his forehead, Sougo rubbed his eyes. The blistering summer heat was a great sleep remedy, but if he napped any longer, he would never wake up again. With a lethargic groan, he lifted himself out of his chair. His back was damp with sweat. Sougo removed his black Shinsengumi vest and tugged at the stuffy cravat around his neck. To hell with uniform regulations. He tossed them onto his chair, rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, and unfastened the top three buttons of his white shirt. He needed a break from work; a short walk would be enough to clear his mind.

 

* * *

 

As he walked into the streets of Kabukicho, he noted how bustling and boisterous the crowds were. Maybe it was the good weather that had people in such lively moods. Lively crowds usually meant drunk crowds and drunk crowds usually meant more work for him. In the corner of his eye, he spotted a blur of three distinctive colours: orange, white, and black.

“Gin-chan, look behind you!”

“Ah, damn it. It ran off over there.”

“Wait for me guys!”

As strangely and suddenly as they appeared, the Yorozuya trio disappeared into a dark alley. By the scene he just witnessed, he assumed they were trying to catch a lost pet of some kind. With nothing to do and his interest peaked, he followed them to the end of the narrow pathway. They were huddled together in the corner as Gintoki struggled to restrain something.

“Hold it tightly!” Shinpachi warned.

“I think I got it now…” Gintoki turned around, cradling an obese tabby cat in his arms. It looked positively miserable. “Oh. Sasuke-kun? What are you doing here?”

“It’s Sougo. And I’m patrolling the streets.”

“Right, right. Well if you’ll excuse us, we’re kind of busy at the moment.”

Sougo’s gaze deviated to Kagura. An expression of utmost loathing was painted across her face. “Actually, I was hoping to talk to your resident glutton alone. It won’t take long.”

Gintoki winced as the cat dug its sharp claws into the fabric of his robe. “Do whatever you want. I’m going to return this thing to our client - ow! Before he gets away again.”

Sougo waited until they were out of earshot before turning to speak to her. “I hope you haven’t forgotten our little deal.”

“What the hell do you want?”

“Is that anyway to be speaking to the man who saved your life?” Sougo clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Come with me.”

A vein visibly popped in her forehead. He could tell she was restraining herself with every word she spoke. “Does it have to be now? I’m busy with work.”

“Yes, now. Anytime, anywhere. No questions asked. You’re lucky I don’t have you on a leash and collar.”

Her face was now as red as her dress. “Just. Tell. Me. What. You. Want.”

“I want a pack of chuuberts. It’s hot and I’m craving them.”

“Wait, what?”

“You heard me.”

“Is that all you want?”

“Yup.” Sougo stuffed his hands into his pockets and started walking.

“I thought you’d ask for something ridiculous,” Kagura admitted as she followed closely behind him. “But you can’t take it back now, yes?”

He hunched his shoulders to hide under the shade of her umbrella; the sun overhead was scorching. “I already told you yes.”

Kagura made a repugnant sound that resembled dry-heaving. She grumbled, “Haven’t you ever heard of personal space, you stupid sadist? You’re making it stuffy under here, uh huh!”

“Stop complaining. It’ll only be for a while until I get my chuuberts.”

And that’s how they ended up walking down the streets of Kabukicho together, huddled intimately underneath an umbrella. It could have easily been mistaken for a date if it weren’t for their sour, scornful faces.

Kagura pointed her index finger in the direction of a nearby convenience store. “There’s one up ahead. Now get the hell away from me!” 

He stumbled out into the heat with a pace brisker than normal and walked into the convenience store. Air conditioning was something he often took for granted. The cool air hit the beads of sweat on his forehead and refreshed him instantly. 

Kagura entered shortly afterwards and placed her umbrella against the side of the cashier’s counter. She headed straight for the refrigerators and grabbed a variety pack of frozen chuuberts. “These should be good enough, yes?”

“That’s fine.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out an assortment of coins and miscellaneous junk. A button. Some red lint. A worn-out postage stamp. An empty sukonbu box. Coins that couldn’t even cover half the cost of a variety pack of frozen chuuberts.

“That’s not going to be enough,” Sougo pointed out the obvious.

“Shut up, I know! Gin-chan doesn’t pay me.”

“You really are useless, aren’t you?” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a couple of crisp bills from his wallet. Walking over to the cashier, he slid the bills flat onto the counter and said, “Keep the change.”

Kagura muttered, “Don’t get cocky you brat. That money is from robbing taxes.”

“You’re the brat who doesn’t have a single dollar to her name.”

“That’s because I make an honest living unlike you!”

Sougo rolled his eyes. He might as well have been talking to a brick wall; that’s just how stubborn and thick-headed she was. He took the plastic bag from the cashier and headed for the exit without another word. The thought of returning to work wasn’t so bad now - it was better than dealing with an arrogant girl who checked all the boxes on his list of pet peeves. They could easily argue for hours.

He stopped dead in his tracks. She must have been following close by because she ran face first into his back.

“Ow! Learn how to walk properly!”

“Hey, you have a cell phone right?”

Kagura blinked. The question obviously caught her off guard. “Yeah… what’s it to you?”

He fished his phone out from his pocket and flipped it open. “Give me your number.”

“Gross. No. I'd rather die. Why would I do that?”

“It’s easier to communicate. Unless you’d rather see me in person.”

The very prospect of that idea was enough to change her mind. She grabbed his phone, pressed a set of numbers with more force than necessary, and handed it back to him.

Sougo inspected the contact information on his phone screen. “Really?” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Queen of Kabukicho? That’s awful high and mighty of you.”

“It’s the truth, uh huh!”

He erased the name she entered and replaced it with something more fitting. Without letting her see what he changed it to, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and reached into the plastic bag for a chuubert. It was a grape-flavoured one - his favourite.

“I’ll text you later. Remember: anytime, anywhere. No questions asked,” Sougo repeated as he broke the chuubert apart. He tossed the half without the knob to her. The part with the knob was way better anyways. “See you around.”


	5. Gorillas Get Lonely Sometimes Too!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back from vacation! sorry for the delay - had some writer's block and got caught up with work :')

_Ole! Ole! Ka-to-ke-n Samba!_

_Ole! Ole! Ka-to-ke-n Samba!_

_Ole! Ole! Ka-to-ke-n Sam-_

Kagura reached for her cell-phone and answered it. “Ugh... hello?”

“You’re still sleeping? It’s past noon already. I’ve texted you ten times.”

“Who is this?”

“Who do you think? I need your help with something.”

Kagura pulled the phone away from her ear to examine the caller ID. It was an unknown number. As the mind-dulling haze of sleep began to fade, she realized who it was. She unleashed an unladylike yawn and hung up the phone.

_Ole! Ole! Ka-to-ke-n Samb-_

On the other side of the receiver in his usual deadpan tone, Sougo said, “Hang up on me again and I’ll kill you.”

“Can’t you let me have my beauty sleep first? Give me five more minutes....”

“No amount of beauty sleep can save your ugly mug. Meet me at the Kabukicho bridge in twenty minutes.”

The phone line cut off. With a frustrated scream, Kagura shoved her bedroom door open and chucked her phone across the living room. It lodged itself into the wall with a loud bang. She was hoping not to hear from him for a while, but only a week had passed since their last encounter.

“Ah! What do you think you’re doing?!” Shinpachi yelled as hot tea dribbled from the cup he was holding. The sudden outburst startled everyone in the living room.

“Oi, that’s coming directly out of your paycheck,” Gintoki mumbled, shovelling a large chunk of strawberry cake into his mouth.

“Good morning Kagura-chan.”

“Anego! What are you doing here?”

“Just visiting. I brought some sweets too,” Otae replied as she held up a small box of assorted pastries. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and have some with us?”

“Well... I have to be somewhere first. Maybe later, yes?”

“Oh, sure.” Otae placed the box back onto the table. She shared a puzzled look with Shinpachi and Gintoki. Kagura wasn’t the type to turn down food.

A muffled voice nearby hollered, “Otae-san, I’ll have some!”

Otae rose from her seat and snapped a piece of thick wood paneling off the floor. Underneath, the face of an ecstatic Kondo Isao greeted her. “Of course, Kondo-san. Open wide.”

“Ahhhhh!”

Otae grabbed the tea pot, filled to the brim with scalding jasmine tea, and emptied the contents onto his face. Ignoring his agonized screams, she replaced the wood panel over him. “And now that I’ve lost my appetite, I’ll take my leave,” Otae said as she brushed off her kimono and headed for the door. “Kagura-chan, you said you needed to go somewhere right? Let’s head out together.”

 

* * *

 

They walked wordlessly down the street for a couple of minutes. The sounds of random conversations around them provided nice background noise. Otae eventually broke the silence. “So, what’s wrong?”

Kagura looked up at her. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Something’s clearly bothering you. Those two thick-headed boys you live with can’t tell, but I can.”

Kagura pulled at a loose red thread hanging from her sleeve. “It’s a long story...”

Otae chirped, “I have time.”

At the sight of the benevolent, sisterly smile on Otae’s face, the truth came spilling out of Kagura’s lips like water from a broken dam. She clasped a hand over her mouth to prevent more details from flooding out.

“Ah I see. Boy troubles.”

“I hate him. He always makes my life harder.”

“Kagura-chan, you know sometimes a boy will tease a girl he likes. Did you ever have a boy pull your pigtails in school?”

“Hell no. I’d break his arms.”

“Well you get the gist of it,” Otae sighed. “I can’t believe you’re growing up so fast. It brings a tear to my eye.”

“You got it wrong Anego!” Kagura protested. “We hate each other and I-“ She paused when Otae pointed to a solitary figure on the Kabukicho bridge.

“He’s quite handsome too. You have great taste. Go on now, your secret is safe with me.” With a knowing wink, she pushed Kagura forward and started walking away. 

Kagura stood dumbfounded as she was ultimately left alone with her thoughts. 

Sougo approached her with one hand stuffed into his pocket with the other resting on the hilt of his sword. He was chewing bubble gum. “You’re fifteen minutes late. I’d appreciate some punctuality in the future.”

His voice snapped her out of contemplation. With a curled lip, she growled, “Whatever, I’m here now. What do you want?”

He blew a large bubble and popped it; the smell of mint wafted to her nose. She resisted the urge to sucker punch him. “I want you to set up a date for Kondo-san.”

“Why? I don’t know any female gorillas.”

“Not with a gorilla, you idiot. With the woman you were just walking with.” Sougo popped another bubble. “His stalking has gotten out of control lately. He rarely shows up to work. I figured a date might clear his head a little.”

“You really think she would go on a date with him? Not even the gorillas want to be near him. He can’t be classified as human at this point.”

“Enough. Just see what you can do for me.”

“Fine, but don’t get your hopes up. I’m not a miracle worker, uh huh!”

“For your own sake you’d better be.”

Kagura spat a colourful curse at him before sprinting in the direction that Otae walked off in - she was most likely headed back to her dojo. The annoyance and anger that accompanied any interaction with the Shinsengumi sadist fuelled her muscles. She arrived at the Shimura dojo within a mere twenty seconds.

“What are you doing here Kagura-chan? I thought you had to meet your little friend.”

“H-he’s not my…. friend…” Kagura gasped for air, wiping the sweat off her forehead. “Anego, I need your help with something. What would it take for you to go on one date with your stalker?”

“Hmm, that’s a weird thing to ask.” Otae raised an eyebrow, pondering the question deeply. “I’ll go, but only on one condition.”

Kagura smiled. Good news was hard to come by nowadays.

 

* * *

 

Kagura frowned. Bad news was easy to come by nowadays. Had she known that Otae’s condition was a double date, she never would’ve agreed. 

“Don’t think of it as a double date. Think of it as being my chaperone. You can put Kondo-san in his place if he steps out of line,” Otae reassured her. “Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“I guess… but you can easily do that yourself.” Kagura pursed her lips. Spending time with Otae, free dinner, and a chance to beat up a stalker - they were all things she enjoyed. It was just unfortunate that she had to spend it with the most unenjoyable person on the planet.

“If it’s really that bad we can leave early. Now hold still. I’m almost done.”

Kagura winced. “Ow! Is this really necessary?”

Otae ran a fine-tooth comb through Kagura’s unruly hair, tied it back into a braid, and fastened it with a red ribbon. “Yes it is. We need to look our best to upstage them, so they realize how lucky they are.”

Kagura flinched at the sound of the doorbell.

“Oh, they’re here early! Hurry and get changed into the dress I bought you.” Otae hastily applied a thin coat of transparent gloss over Kagura’s lips, ushered her into the bathroom, and handed her a small bundle of pink fabric.

The door slammed shut behind her. Slowly, she turned to face her reflection in the mirror. A light wash of warm colour stained the apples of her cheeks and the lids of her eyes. Feathery strands of copper hair framed her face and fell in loose waves around her ears. She didn’t expect anything less from an experienced cabaret hostess. Kagura held the dress out at arms length to inspect it. It was a sleeveless _cheongsam_ , similar to the one she often wore. Instead of soy sauce stains and frayed edges, the dress had intricate embroidery and beads sewn along the hems. It was a beautiful garment that was definitely wasted on her. With a reluctant sigh, she changed into it and opened the bathroom door.

“Oh my goodness! It looks perfect on you!” Otae squealed, clapping her hands together joyously. She placed her hands onto Kagura’s shoulders and spun her around once. “Don’t you guys agree?”

Behind an extravagant bouquet of flowers and balloons, Kondo gave her a thumbs-up. From what she could see, he was dressed in an eccentric three-piece tuxedo. Sougo, unlike his superior officer, made no effort to dress up. He wore his standard Shinsengumi uniform and monotone expression, and like always, had his sword by his side. All of a sudden, Kagura felt self-conscious. She could feel his eyes examining her face and body - he wasn’t exactly being subtle about it. She prepared herself for an insult, but to her discomfort, he kept his eyes locked on hers and remained silent. She stuck her middle finger up at him and hissed, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer. Beady-eyed creep.”

Ignoring her completely, Sougo turned to Kondo and asked, “Can I leave now? We’re technically on duty, you know.”

“Don’t be hasty. I have a whole day planned for us!”

“I still don’t get why I have to come along.”

“Me neither, but it’s the only way. Please Sougo!” Kondo dropped to his knees and started to beg.

It was going to be a long day.

 

* * *

 

At the end of it all, if there was one thing that could change her mind around, it was a buffet. To be more specific, an all-you-can-eat gourmet buffet with the works: seafood, steak, rice, and desserts. Kagura indulged to the point where she could barely walk, her protruding stomach being an accurate indicator of how satisfied she was. The unseemly behaviour was out of place considering her feminine appearance.

Sougo muttered, “Don’t you think you’ve had enough? You’re literally bursting at the seams.”

“Shut up. I haven’t even started on my third set of desserts yet.”

He picked absent-mindedly at the food on his plate, which was much smaller in comparison to her own. “Anyways, I'm surprised you managed to pull this off. They’re actually having a good time.”

Kagura glanced up from her meal. Otae had looped a jumbo sausage link around Kondo’s neck in an attempt to strangle him, his face turning purplish-blue in response to the asphyxiation. It was also the first time Sougo had spoken to her throughout the entire day. “Anego wanted us to tag along,” Kagura mumbled through a dry mouthful of cherry pie. She felt the need to clarify their bizarre situation. “That was her only condition for the date.”

Sougo didn’t reply. His full and undivided attention was directed towards Otae and Kondo’s spat.

“Oi, cat got your tongue? If you’re annoyed, just say so. I did what you wanted, it’s not my fault you had to come too.”

“God, do you ever shut up?”

“What did you say?! And look at me when I’m talking to you!” Kagura gripped his shoulder, trying to get him to face her.

Sougo abruptly rose from his seat and grabbed her wrist. His eyes reflected an unforgiving intensity that was normally reserved for battle. The firm grip around her wrist did not loosen, and for some strange reason, she recalled Anego’s words from earlier: _‘He’s quite handsome too. You have great taste.’_

_Anegoooo-ooooo! Why did you have to go and say ridiculous nonsense like that? Now of all times?!_

Sougo dropped her wrist and stuffed his hand back into his pocket. “I’m leaving.”

A barrage of questions bounced around in her head, but the words got caught in her throat. It didn’t seem like the right time to be asking them, especially since she couldn’t quite read his mood. Instead Kagura barked back, “Fine by me! Leave for all I care!” The deafening silence that occurred afterwards left a rock in the pit of her stomach. Did she say something to seriously offend him? And why did she even care if it did? 

Kagura turned her attention to the massive chocolate parfait in front of her. It was topped with a mountain of vanilla gelato, whipped cream, fudge sauce, and sprinkles. She shoved a single spoonful into her mouth. It tasted bittersweet.


	6. Love Is A Fickle Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> update! i had a lot of fun writing this chapter because i love to see sougo suffer :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yamato Nadeshiko - a Japanese term meaning the "personification of an idealized Japanese woman" or "the epitome of pure, feminine beauty"

Whenever he was in a bad mood, it was Hijikata that paid the price. Sougo could think of no better person to direct his negative energy towards. After he had tainted Hijikata’s mayonnaise with a tasteless laxative, ripped holes in his uniforms, and cut all his cigarettes in half, Sougo knew he had to find something else to do. Whenever Kondo asked him what was wrong, he gave the same answer: ‘ _I’m just bored.’_ His expressionless face masked his lies perfectly.

Hijikata must’ve complained to Kondo because he was immediately assigned to a high priority mission - it would be a temporary distraction at best. Kondo approached him with the details. “Matsudaira’s in town for some important meetings. He wants us to look after his teenage niece for a bit while he’s busy. Can you handle that?”

“Babysitting is not really my forté, but I guess I have no choice,” Sougo muttered.

“They’ll be here shortly. Keep her safe and show her a good time around Edo. The meetings shouldn’t take very long.”

“Fine.”

Like Kondo specified, Matsudaira and company arrived at Shinsengumi headquarters within the next half hour and he was quickly dragged into a meeting with the intimidating man.

Matsudaira pulled his pistol from his holster and aimed it at Sougo as soon as he entered the room. “Listen carefully kid. If my Megumi-chan doesn’t have a good time today, I’ll shoot a hole through your skull.”

He sighed, “Calm down geezer. I’ll do my best.”

“Sougo! Where are your manners?” Kondo scolded.

The young woman hiding behind Matsudaira’s looming figure stepped out and bowed deeply. “I apologize for the inconvenience today. My name isMegumi - it’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

Sougo ran his eyes up and down the young woman he was supposed to accompany for the day. The first thing he noted was her striking beauty and tasteful style - she had long silky black hair, comely hazel eyes, and a light sprinkle of freckles across the bridge of her nose.

“I’m Kondo Isao, commander of the Shinsengumi. This is Okita Sougo, captain of the first division. He’ll be looking after you today so feel free to ask him anything.”

Sougo raised his right hand and waved in a halfhearted attempt to greet her.

Megumi bowed again. “I’m in your capable hands.”

Sougo nodded. “Is there anything in Edo you want to see?”

“Not particularly. Anywhere is fine.”

“Alright, follow me.”

As he guided Megumi through the halls of Shinsengumi headquarters, his sharp ears picked up bits and pieces of conversation around them.

_‘Of course Okita-taichou is the one who gets to spend the day with a supermodel! I’m so jealous!’_

_‘That girl is gonna fall for his dirty tricks. He can lay on the charm but he’s just a hardcore sadist underneath....’_

_‘Lucky son of a bitch!’_

Sougo bit the inside of his cheek. He would beat some sense into those men later, but right now, he had to focus on his joke of a mission.

 

* * *

 

Megumi was a real life _Yamato Nadeshiko_ \- she carried herself with an ethereal and feminine grace. From her dainty steps to her straight posture, she was a walking example of the perfect woman. Sougo wasn’t a talkative person, but Megumi could weave in and out of conversational topics with an expertise that he found extremely impressive, and when he brought her to a local restaurant for lunch, he was even more impressed with her flawless table manners.

“Do you want to order anything else?” Sougo asked.

Dabbing at the corner of her mouth with a clean napkin, Megumi replied, “No thank you, that was more than enough.”

_Of course I do! You think that would fill me up?! You of all people should know me better than that, yes?_

Sougo blinked. Was he hearing things? That pesky attitude and strange accent belonged to only one person, but that person was nowhere to be seen.

“Okita-san? Are you ready to leave?”

Megumi’s voice pulled him back to reality. With a tired nod, he paid the bill and escorted her out of the restaurant to their next destination: a small block of boutiques and mini shopping centres. Sougo leaned against a wall as Megumi glanced at handbags through giant display windows. Closing his eyes momentarily, he focused on the noises around him. Radio music drifting out from a convenience store nearby. The exuberant laughter of children. The shuffling of numerous footsteps. A salesperson promoting their latest discount on the street.

_Yo, this is boring! Let’s go to the park instead!_

His eyes shot open. It was _her_ voice again. Sougo turned his head, hoping to catch a sight of the orange-haired brat.

“Is something the matter?” Megumi witnessed the panicked expression on his face.

“Uh, no. Sorry. Thought I heard something.” Sougo shook his head to clear his thoughts. 

“Would you like to sit down somewhere? Maybe we should rest.” Megumi walked over and placed a worried hand on his sleeve.

“No, I’m alright. Let’s just keep walking.”

It had to be heatstroke, stress from work, sleep deprivation or a combination of all three - but he wasn’t particularly stressed, hot, or tired. There had to be some logical explanation for his hallucinations.

_I know you’re insecure and all but you should really listen to your heart. Even if it is a cold black heart._

“Shut up.”

“Excuse me?” Megumi glanced up from the table of souvenirs she was examining.

Shit. Had he said that out loud? He gripped his face and closed his eyes shut. What was happening to him?

_Oi, oi. You’re not looking so good. Your face is paler than mine._

Sougo could feel a cold film of sweat forming on his brow. He completely ignored Megumi’s attempts to aid him because he was reaching a terrifying realization that wrenched his gut in the most painful way imaginable. 

He liked China.

That flat-chested gluttonous mass with absolutely no sex appeal. The girl who could eat portions for thirty people in one sitting and still ask for more. The girl with no sense of etiquette, class, punctuality, or manners (he had once seen her chew bubble gum and stick it under a table to 'save it for later').

She was also the only girl who could beat him in a fight. A unique girl who made him laugh and cry. An independent girl who could handle her own and looked out for her friends and family. She was the strongest person he knew.

All of these stunningly new revelations became too much to handle. He felt his lunch coming back up. Sougo leaned over and expelled the contents of his stomach - Megumi Just happened to be in the splash zone.

She unleashed a shrill scream that cut through the air. 

Sougo couldn’t see her behind the mosaic of vomit, but he realized something else as she tried to clean herself up. He had just spent the day with a gorgeous woman - who should’ve been a great match for him - but he could only think of how much more attractive she would be if her hair was orange instead of black and if she had blue eyes instead of brown.

_Hah! I told you so! Nobody can withstand my womanly wiles, not even you. It was only a matter of time, uh huh!_

Fuck everything. Fuck China. Fuck the damned fanfiction author who thought that this chapter would be a good idea.

Fuck.

 


	7. There's A 100% Chance You'll Hate Yourself For Leaving Your Umbrella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thought i'd throw in some sad angsty stuff for once :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seiza - Japanese term for a type of formal sitting position

“Oi Kagura, why do you keep looking at that thing? Your eyes are gonna go bad.”

Kagura peeled her gaze away from her phone screen. “Huh?”

Gintoki extracted a booger from his nose and smeared it onto her hair. “I'm talking about your phone. You kids nowadays are so reliant on technology.”

It had been more than a month since she last saw Sougo. Kagura thought it was a blessing in disguise, but the increasing silence between them gnawed at her brain. Did she do something wrong? Was he busy with work? Did he leave for a mission? She had too much pride to contact him first - it’s not like it was her responsibility to check in on him anyways.

“Come to think of it, your eyes have been glued to that phone for a couple of weeks now,” Shinpachi pointed out. “Who are you messaging?”

“Nobody!” Kagura yelled as she flipped her phone shut and slid it back into her pocket. “Leave me alone.”

Gintoki furrowed his brow. “You texting your new boyfriend or something? I swear if it’s another titan I’m going to lose it. We’ll have no more attack on titans in this household!”

"It's not healthy," Shinpachi chimed in. “You can’t spend all day cooped up at home on your phone.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you guys! You two just sit at home all day reading your perverted idol magazines and Shounen Jumps.” She couldn’t take their suffocating questions anymore. “Sadaharu! We’re leaving!”

From behind the couch, Sadaharu lifted his head and shot her a reluctant stare that said,   _‘they’re right you know_.’

Kagura’s jaw fell open. "You too Sadaharu?"

As if by some circumstantial miracle, her phone vibrated in her pocket. Kagura pulled it out and read the text message. It was from him.

_Same spot as before. Now._

“See what I’m talking about?” Gintoki pointed his index finger at her. “Always staring at that damned screen. Who are you texting? Show me!”

“No way! You guys need to learn how to respect a woman’s privacy.” Kagura grabbed her umbrella and placed one hand on her hip. “No wonder you two aren’t popular with girls.”

“Kagura-chan... that’s a low blow,” Shinpachi muttered, pushing his glasses up.

Gintoki barked sternly, “Do I need to take that thing away from you?”

“Over my dead body. Just try it.”

Gintoki’s lower lip quivered as her words dealt a critical blow to his paternal instincts. “Shinpachi, she’s entering her rebellious stage! I’ve read books about this, but I’m not prepared for it yet! What do we do?! Should I call the baldy?!”

The initial frustration she felt evaporated at the sight of their distressed faces. They were just looking out for her - she had to remember that. “Listen, I can take care of myself,” Kagura reassured them as she walked towards the door. “But I need to be somewhere right now. We’ll talk about this later, okay?”

“Fine...but you come home early today! We’re going to have family dinner tonight, all three of us!” Gintoki blubbered as he wiped non-existent tears from the corners of his eyes.

God, he could be so dramatic sometimes. Kagura nodded. “I promise.” After she left the house, she could still hear him crying about how puberty was a force to be reckoned with behind the closed _shoji_ doors.

An opaque cover of clouds weakened the strength of the sun overhead. It looked like it was going to rain. Summer was already long gone and autumn was soon ending. Not only that, but the weather forecast anticipated snow in the upcoming week. Ketsuno Ana's predictions were usually accurate. 

Kagura’s mind began to roam as she strolled leisurely in the direction of the Kabukicho bridge. She wondered what he was going to make her do this time around. She wondered if he was still annoyed with her. She wondered if he was okay. Once she arrived at the bridge, she was mildly irked by the fact that he wasn’t there yet. Wasn’t he the one blabbering on about punctuality last time? Kagura pulled out her phone. There were no new messages.

Ten long minutes ticked by.

Her thumb hovered over the call button on her phone. As she was about to press it, Sougo approached her from the end of the bridge with a small bouquet of pink chrysanthemums and a bag of extra-spicy crackers in his hands.

“Hey,” Sougo greeted her. “Did you wait long?”

“Hey. Not really.”

An uncomfortable period of silence passed. There was tension in the air and she felt awkward even questioning him about the items he brought. Something had changed, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Kagura cleared her throat. “Uh, so what do you need me to do?”

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Without another word, he started to walk away.

It sounded like a relatively easy request. Kagura followed after him, her eyes boring a hole into the back of his head. What was going on in that super sadist mind of his? He could be such an enigma sometimes. Just when she thought she had him figured out, he always surprised her.

Sougo led her down an unfamiliar road. Naked trees that had shed their fall leaves bordered the sides of the path. Underneath her feet, she could no longer hear the satisfying _crunch_ of crisp leaves, but the disappointing muffled sound of damp plant litter. The clouds above rumbled ominously; it was definitely going to rain.

After walking for what seemed like an eternity, they eventually reached a rusty iron gate. Sougo unlatched it and let her walk in first. It was then when she realized where they were: a cemetery.

_Oi, oi! He’s not going to murder and bury me here, is he?!_

Sougo leaned down and whispered into her ear, “I’m not going to murder and bury you here if that’s what you’re thinking.”

He read her mind immediately - her apprehensive face must have given her away. Kagura stammered, “I-I wasn’t thinking that.”

“If you say so,” he replied skeptically. “Follow me, she’s over here.”

“Wait, who are we meeting again? And why in a place like th-“ Kagura's words trailed off. Once her eyes read the name etched into the tombstone in front of them, she understood.

“It’s her anniversary today,” Sougo said faintly, placing the bouquet of pink chrysanthemums and bag of crackers in front of the tombstone. “I hate this day.”

“Am I really the best person to bring along?”

“Kondo-san said I shouldn’t be alone today. For once, I agree with him.”

Okita Mitsuba was the only person in the entire galaxy that could control a grade-A super sadist like him. “She must’ve been an incredible person if she had to deal with you growing up,” Kagura mumbled, hoping to lighten the air a bit.

It worked. Sougo chuckled weakly, “Yeah she was. I was definitely a handful.”

The hostile clouds above them thundered again. A droplet of rain hit her cheek and somewhere in the far distance, a lone crow cawed.

Sougo knelt down into a formal _seiza_ position. His hands were balled up into fists on his lap and trembled ever so slightly. His head was lowered to hide his expression.

He was hurting. She knew the pain of losing a family member very well, and even with time, it never got easier. The guilt and grief were extra burdens to bear and it ate at you every single day. Rain was starting to fall steadily now. Kagura kneeled down beside him, opened her umbrella, and held it over both of their heads. She took a deep breath before murmuring, “You know I’m no good at these things, but… I think she would be proud of the person you’ve become today. Except the insufferable sadist part.”

Sougo remained silent.

Kagura continued, ”So don’t be sad for too long. You have a lot of work to do, yes? To make this city a better place and all?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Kagura looked away. “Don’t mention it.”

“Ahh... I’m hungry.” Sougo ripped open the bag of extra-spicy crackers and popped a couple into his mouth.

Even through the thick wet cover of rain, Kagura could sense the intense spice emanating from the bright red crackers. It burned her eyes and set her nostrils on fire.

“I don’t get why she liked these so much,” Sougo paused to cough violently. “They taste terrible.” Using the inside of his elbow to wipe his watery eyes, he continued to eat them one after the other without hesitation.

Knowing she would regret it instantly, Kagura bit into a cracker too. A fierce, unbearable heat snaked to the back of her throat, eyes and nose. It wasn’t long before until her vision was blurry with tears and her nose was running with snot.

Teary-eyed and snot-nosed, they sat together under the rain for a very, very long time.

 


	8. Snow Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tbh i have no idea where this fic is going & that's just how the cookie crumbles (:

A thick blanket of pure white covered Edo. Fat flurries of snow drifted down from the sky and stuck to the shingles of every sloped rooftop, straining them underneath the increasing weight. The streets were flooded with panicked people trying to clear pathways in front of their shops and homes but still, the snow showed no signs of stopping.

After the whole debacle with Matsudaira’s niece, Sougo was sentenced to filing duty. He had gotten the scolding of a lifetime from Kondo and was subsequently banished to the realm of administrative work. He sat cross-legged in the middle of the Shinsengumi records room, surrounded by a vast sea of paperwork and storage boxes. Loud radio music blasted into his ears from his headphones and in the midst of a new Terakado Tsuu single, the radio host interrupted to announce breaking news.

 _'Hey to all you loyal listeners out there! Due to unprecedented amounts of snowfall, the city is closing down all schools and major roads effective immediately. However, don’t let the craaa-aaazy weather get you down! The staff here at Amantunes 103.6 are hosting a giant snowball fight in O-Edo Park. Teams of three are required to enter. We are also giving away an amazing prize to the last person standing! Come and register now_!’

The second half of the Terakado Tsuu single began playing after the announcement ended. What a ridiculous idea - although he found it easy to believe that people actually wasted their time with such pointless competitions.

“Sougo!” Kondo abruptly burst into the records room, dressed head to toe in full winter attire. “Get changed now, we have an important mission!”

He should’ve known. Sougo took out his right earbud and replied, “You want me to enter that snowball contest with you and Hijikata-san?”

“Wow! How did you know?”

“Kondo-san, only you would be interested in something like that...” Sougo uncrossed his legs and stood up. An unpleasant sensation of pins and needles surged to his feet; he hadn’t moved from the same position in hours. “If it means I’m free from filing, then count me in.”

“Deal!”

 

* * *

 

The turn out was surprising. More than half of the city was gathered in O-Edo Park, awaiting further instructions from the hosts. Boredom was spreading like an epidemic and apparently the only cure was a giant snowball fight.

“Hijikata-san, why did you even come to this stupid thing?” It was unlike the demonic vice-commander of the Shinsengumi to agree to such a childish idea.

“Kondo-san wouldn’t stop asking me, so I said yes to shut him up. Plus, it’s not like we can do much today anyways - everything’s closed. It’s a good way to pass the time.”

“I suppose.”

“Welcome one and all! We are thrilled that so many of you have expressed an interest in our little snowball contest!” The sudden announcement was coming from a large Amanto airship above. “Maybe it’s because you’ve heard the rumour flying around town? That’s right folks! The grand prize is an all-inclusive trip for three to a tropical resort!”

Like the cat that ate the canary, Kondo grinned, “See, see?! I told you guys it’d be worth it!”

The announcement continued. “Now before we begin, we’ll start with the rules.... there are none! Fight your way to the top by any means necessary! Last one standing wins! Good luck everyone!”

Sougo blinked. Did he voluntarily enter some sort of snowball Battle Royale? A no holds barred death match? Somebody was bound to get hurt and as he was pondering the consequences of such an irresponsible event, a snowball the size (and weight) of a bowling ball struck the back of his head. The sheer force sent him tumbling across the park face-first into the base of a large oak tree.

“Haha! Gin-chan, did you see that?”

“Good job, but you have to make them bigger next time. See? Like this....”

“Oi, Yorozuya! You’ll pay for that!”

Of course the Yorozuya trio would be here - this kind of absurd game was exactly their calling. Their heated argument was muffled through the snow clogged in his ears. His head was splitting - not only with pain - but with rage because he knew exactly who threw that snowball. He exploded out of the snow in a fit of fury, sword trembling in his freezing grip. The whole ‘no rule’ rule could play in his favour because there was nothing else he wanted more in the entire world right now than to skin that China girl alive, roast her over a roaring fire and feed her to her monstrous dog.

But when he saw her face, those feelings melted away like the snowflakes landing on his warm skin. Her eyes and lips were pulled up into a devilish smile while she packed another white ball of mass destruction. She was exuding pure unadulterated joy.

“What’s wrong? In awe of my power, yes?” Kagura swung her arm back and sent another snowball his way.

Sougo sliced through it like butter - he wanted to slice that cocky sneer right off her face too.

“Hey, that’s not fair! You can’t use your sword!”

“So is using your umbrella as a shield. If you want to play dirty, I can play dirty.”

Shinpachi was standing in the distance, currently preoccupied with reloading ammunition for his fellow teammates. He was the perfect target. The snowball left his palm and made direct contact with Shinpachi’s face, knocking his glasses off.

“Patsuan?!” Kagura dropped to her knees and cradled his glasses in her hands. One of the lenses had a noticeable crack in them.

“I’m fine... I was just caught off guard,” Shinpachi wiped his face with his sleeve. “Where are my glasses?”

Gintoki shouted, “You rotten _Shit_ sengumi bastards - look at him! He’s beyond repair!”

“Like I said...I’m fine! Are you guys trying to annoy me on purpose?”

Kagura rose to her feet, discarded the broken pair of glasses on the ground and stomped on them. “Sadist! You’ll pay for this!”

Shinpachi yelled, ”AH! My glasses!”

Sougo relished in the fact that he could make her mood switch from amusement to abhorrence in a matter of seconds - it’s what kept their relationship interesting. Life in Edo was monotonous and dull, so she barged in uninvited and painted colour back into his life again. Vivid reds for the bloody punches they exchanged, brilliant blues for the ocean-esque sparkle in her eyes, and putrid greens for the vomit she was always expelling.

Sougo absolutely hated to admit it, but he was drawn to her like a stupidly sadistic moth to a crude vermillion flame. To think he had written off this day as a total waste of time and here he was, laughing and running without a single care in the world. Ever since Mitsuba’s passing, fun wasn’t always part of the agenda and as he was repeatedly pelted by snowballs, he could only think of how unusually enjoyable this all was. The cogs in his brain started turning after a particularly devastating hit to his head. “Hey. Stop for a second.”

Kagura held an armful of snowballs. “Why should I?!”

“I’m cashing in a favour now. Don’t move for one minute."

“Screw that!”

“Would you rather spend the whole day tomorrow running my errands instead? I’ll take you out on my leash this time.” Sougo could tell by the way her legs faltered that spending one minute being assaulted by snowballs was a much better choice than being paraded around town as his pet.

“You have one minute. Make it count because I’m going to tear you apart limb from limb in about sixty seconds.”

“Don’t say such scary things like that,” he laughed as he confidently strode up to her. “It’s not very becoming of a lady... but you can hardly be considered one.”

A low guttural noise resonated from the back of her throat. If he teased her enough, would she implode on the spot? It was a theory worth testing.

Sougo ran his thumb over her smooth, porcelain cheek - she flinched instinctively and he didn’t miss the flicker of confusion in her eyes. He cupped her chin in one hand and turned her face to the side as if examining a prized show animal; she growled in response to the foreign, unwanted touch.

“You sound like a rabid dog.”

“If you’re using this chance to grope me, you’re more perverted than I thought.” Kagura closed her eyes shut. 

“What is there for me to grope?” Sougo squished her cheeks together until she was making a face resembling a swollen fish. “I was just thinking about how this look suits you a lot more.”

She made a gurgling sound.

Leaning in closer, he asked, “What was that? I can’t quite hear you.” He didn’t relinquish the tight grip on her face, and as if his sadism wasn’t kicked into overdrive already, he jerked her head up and snickered, “Do you mind repeating that for me?”

Kagura closed her eyes. “Twent…y… mhore... ‘econds!”

“Already? I guess a minute goes by fast when you’re having fun.” Sougo dropped his hand and bent down to pack a dense snowball. As soon as she opened her eyes again, he fired point-blank.

Bloodlust was oozing out of her like water overflowing from a bathtub and the hostility was enough to make him reach for his sword. He wasn’t stupid enough to fight a Yato barehanded - taking death directly by the hand and asking it to dance the waltz with you seemed like an easier way to die.

“Looks like you’re ready to get serious now,” he said, lowering his stance and resting his palm on the pommel of his sword.

Rage flushed her face. She was going to beat the complete and utter shit out of him. She could easily do it if he let his guard slip for one second — one second was all it took to lose. She lunged at him with the resilience of an uncaged beast who had been poked, prodded and ogled for too long. They traded solid blows in a violent whirlwind of movement, far too swift for most people to see. Luckily, he wasn’t like most people.

 _“_ Alright you two, stop right there!”

A disorientating ray of light engulfed them from above. From what he could make out, it looked like the Amanto airship from before. Why were they interfering now? All of a sudden, his body was shrouded in an unfamiliar weightlessness and with a panicked look, he glanced down to see that he was levitating a couple feet off the ground. “Oi, what the hell is happening here?”

“Calm down. We’re just getting beamed up into their ship. You’ve never been beamed before?”

“Normal people usually haven’t.” 

Her alien ancestry temporarily slipped his mind and he didn’t have time to ponder what otherworldly things she had experienced because the hull of the airship above creaked open to welcome them. His feet finally met solid ground and before he could fully digest his new surroundings, someone had pressed the cold barrel of a rifle firmly against his temple.

“Drop your weapons or we shoot!”

In the corner of his eye, he met the gaze of an Amanto of unknown age and species. What he did know was whoever was clueless enough to threaten him earned a spot on his list of people to skewer alive, although China had the privilege of maintaining the number one spot on that list.

“I said drop them!” Another Amanto, who resembled an awkward amalgamation of a cat, lizard and fish, had a sharpened dagger pressed against Kagura’s throat. “Or else this girl dies.”

Sougo sniggered, “You’d be doing me a favor. Thanks in advance.”

“Hey, you bastard! What does that mean?!”

“Use your two remaining brain cells to figure it out.”

Their alien leader, or what he assumed was their leader, stepped out from behind the shadows and in a booming voice, yelled, “Enough squabbling! I bet you two are curious to know what’s going on. We are a nomad tribe of Amanto wandering the universe in search of strong soldiers. You two have proved yourself to be worthy and you will join us, whether you like it or not. Our tribe’s story began three hundred years ago when we-“

“Wait - I’m sorry. Stop for a second,” Sougo spoke up. “We really don’t give a shit, so spare us the details. I take it this entire contest was just a huge scam then?”

“Exactly, and you two are either going to join us or you’ll end up dead. Which one will it be? Choose wisely.”

“Oh man! You mean there’s no grand prize?” Kagura whined incessantly, flailing her limbs around like a child throwing a tantrum. “I wanted to go on vacation!”

“Uh, little girl, you don’t seem to understand your situation right now.”

“Yeah, and I need to finish up some paperwork. I got a lot of filing waiting for me,” Sougo added. “Can we take a raincheck?”

The Amanto holding the gun against his head cried, “Boss, they’re mocking us!”

“I _know_ that. We’ll show them the consequences of disobedience. Shoot the girl and maybe this one will cooperate. He’ll be scared so shitless he won’t have a choice.”

The cold pressure at his temple disappeared as the Amanto redirected his aim at his new target. “Nothing personal, little girl. It’s just business.”

The smell of gunpowder filled the air. Kagura’s lifeless body slumped over as the bullet made contact with her head.

Sougo mumbled under his breath, “You guys are going to regret that.”

Their leader chortled, “What was that? You’re finally willing to cooperate now that you know how merciless we can be?”

“I could give a rat’s ass about you background characters - you’re lucky you’re even getting to star in this chapter,” he said. “What I’m trying to say is, if you underestimate your opponent, you’ve already lost the battle.”

“Are you crazy? You two brats - sorry, not two anymore since we’ve just killed your friend - you alone are at a clear disadvantage.”

Technically, he did warn them. China on a normal day was already a migraine waiting to happen, but when she was enraged (which was partly, if not entirely, always his fault), she was an unstoppable vehicle of brutality. He had healed enough wounds, fractured bones, black eyes, and split lips to prove that point. Raising his voice, he asked, “How much longer are you going to pretend? I’d like to go home soon.”

“Why don’t you do something then? You’re such a typical guy, making the woman do all the work.” Like a zombie rising up from its grave, Kagura lifted her head and between her teeth, she spat out a single, shiny bullet. “All of you stupid men are really pissing me off today!”

The Amanto leader looked bewildered. “What the hell?! Forget this - just shoot them both!”

In a fluid, choreographed dance, she dived for her umbrella and he attacked with his sword at the exact same time. It took them less than thirty seconds to disarm and disable every one of their enemies. Sometimes kicking ass was just too easy; it was one of the numerous reasons why China was the only individual who could keep him entertained.

He wiped the edge of his blade against his jacket and sheathed it. “I guess it's another tie today.”

Kagura tucked a loose strand of hair that had fallen out back into it’s signature bun. “For now, yes.” It looked like her initial wrath had dwindled to a mild chagrin.

The aftermath of the snowy, blood-stained battlefield left him sporting new bruises and sore muscles in the next week. Every sword swing, every lap around the Shinsengumi compound, and every sparring match made his body scream in protest. The amount of paperwork he had to file had doubled - no, tripled - in size.

He couldn’t _wait_ for the next snow day.


	9. Drunken Words Are Sober Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had a surge of inspiration and wrote this chapter in a couple hours :^) normally i'm not that good at updating, but here's another chapter!
> 
> also i do have a twitter account if anybody wants to follow me for okikagu related shitposting : @okikaguslut

Was it really the most wonderful time of the year?

When Kagura received the invitation to the Shinsengumi’s annual Christmas party, it sure didn’t feel like it. She could get past the smell of gorillas and mayonnaise - those factors posed no issue compared to her real problem at hand. In the weeks leading up to the holidays, she was having not-so-normal thoughts about a not-so-normal person. To be more specific, the sadistic police captain of the first division. She convinced herself it was the flu or some new alien sickness that had her brain rattled, so when she told Gintoki she wasn’t going to the party, he reprimanded her.

“Idiot! This is the only time of the year where we can get wined and dined at the expense of the government! You need to come.”

“But Gin-chan, I didn’t even buy any presents!”

“You still have one day, I’m sure you can figure something out.”

And that was the end of that conversation.

Kagura spent the following day browsing around Kabukicho for appropriate gifts. The commander and vice-commander were easy enough to shop for; she got a bottle of mayonnaise for Hijikata (practical, and she knew he would definitely use it) and a crumpled tissue from Anego’s trashcan for Kondo. She even bought a discounted anpan bun for Yamazaki! All that was left was the gift for the stupid sadist and she was completely stuck. She could almost hear his snarky remarks to all the options she considered.

A box of chocolates would evoke a response like: ‘ _Is it Valentine’s Day or something? Are you confessing to me?_ ’

Even a gift card, which she assumed was the safest bet, could elicit: ‘ _Wow, you’re that lazy huh? Couldn’t go out and buy an actual gift_?’

He definitely wasn’t going to buy a gift for her, so why should she buy one for him? Screw the season of giving!

 

* * *

 

In the end, after sorting out her inner monologue, she decided she _had_ to get something for him. Not for the sake of formalities or guilt, but because she _wanted_ to. That’s when she knew something was seriously wrong because how could she willingly participate in an act of kindness without being blackmailed by him? Some potent illness was penetrating the crevasses of her brain, leaking uncharacteristic thoughts and scenarios into her head. She fiddled with the gift in her hands, fingers running over the wrinkled, uneven paper. She tried to cover up the mistakes with a big bow, but he would probably point out her poor attempts at wrapping regardless.

“Anego, can you help me rewrap this?” She turned to the older Shimura sibling.

“I think it means more if you do it yourself, especially if it’s for you-know-who...” Otae raised an eyebrow.

“For who? What are you girls gossiping about?” Gintoki’s voice carried out from the washroom.

“Nothing!” Otae sang back, her eyes darting away to avoid suspicion. “In any case Gin-san, we should get going soon. We don’t want to be late.”

“Yeah, yeah, hold on. I haven’t finished wiping down there yet.”

It took Gintoki twenty minutes to finish up whatever business he had to tend to in the washroom, and another twenty minutes to walk to Shinsengumi headquarters, and when they finally arrived, it was clear that the entire police force was already on their third round of drinks. The scent of sake was overpowering. It lingered on every man’s breath and was stronger as the chain of command went up. Kondo was dancing shirtless on the tabletops, tie wrapped around his head and drink in his hand. Hijikata was intoxicated too, but not nearly as much as his superior officer. Gintoki joined their ranks soon afterwards.

After dropping off her gifts for their intended recipients, her eyes scanned the banquet hall, taking in the many faces of the Shinsengumi men, most of which were anxious to see her. It was Christmas. She would refrain from using any of them as punching bags for the day - that would be her gracious gift to them.

“Looking for me?”

Kagura wheeled around at the sound of his deadpan voice. “H-hah - you wish! I was just admiring the decorations around here.”

Multi-coloured lightbulbs strung around the room saturated them in a cozy glow while Christmas music played softly from their stereo system. If it weren’t for an inebriated Kondo and Gintoki wreaking havoc on the alcohol supply (and an equally loud Otae trying to get them to calm down), this evening could’ve actually been a relaxing one.

Sougo asked bluntly, “Where’s my gift?”

Blood flowed to her cheeks. “You really are full of it. What makes you think I even have one for you?”

“You’re hiding something behind you. You’ve given Kondo-san, Hijikata-san, and Yamazaki their gifts already. Are you saving the best for last?”

“Fine, take it!” She thrust the gift into his chest, face burning with embarrassment. She refused to meet his gaze, or rather, she couldn’t bring herself to.

“Aw, how cute. It’s not like you to be shy. I guess Christmas miracles do exist.” Sougo took the box, his hand brushing over hers for a split second before she yanked her arm back. With surgical-like precision, he peeled apart the wrapping paper and opened the gift.

“Just say you hate it. I don’t care.” Kagura turned her nose up, trying desperately to find something else in the room to focus on. Anything but him.

“China, I-“

There was one lightbulb in the corner of the room that was on the fritz. It kept glimmering on and off, on and off, on and off….

“Did you _make_ this?”

Kagura extended her leg to side sweep him. The unexpected kick caught him off guard and as he crashed onto the floor with a solid thud, she hurtled towards the closest exit. Her heart was racing for all the wrong reasons. Why the hell did she even care about his approval? It never meant anything to her before, so why did it mean something now? The sub-zero blast of air outside didn’t do much to calm her down - the scorching sensation on her face felt like a heavy mask she couldn’t take off, no matter how hard she tried. She sat down on the edge of the wooden porch and brought her knees up to her chest.

Muted footfalls approached her from behind.

“I know it’s not the prettiest,” she mumbled as she rested her chin on her knees. “But I tried my best.”

Sougo sat down beside her.

She shuffled a couple inches away.

“First off, you’re going to pay for kicking me back there. Second, if it was really that bad, I wouldn’t be wearing it so you can relax.”

Kagura glanced over her shoulder out of curiosity. The wool scarf she had knitted for him was looped loosely around his neck, fraying threads and all. It had taken her an entire night to knit it and even with Otae's help, it ended up being a terribly crafted article of clothing. He was lying for her sake.

“I was going to give you this, but you assaulted me before I could grab it - _which_ is a federal offence by the way.” He dropped a small plastic gachapon sphere onto her lap. From a hasty glance, she already knew what it was.

“AH! This one is super rare! How did you get it?!” Kagura popped open the container, which held a cellphone charm in the shape of a pink cartoon rabbit.

“Exceptional luck. Do you like it?”

Embarrassed to admit it, she nodded.

“Good.”

They sat quietly for several minutes, listening to the slurred sounds of drunken festivity and clinking glasses. Wanting to break the awkward silence somehow, she asked, “So, how come you’re not piss drunk like your gorilla boss?”

“Because unlike Kondo-san, I know my limits.” Sougo leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and hung his head down. “I tend to forget if I drink too much and I don’t want to forget today.”

“And why’s that?”

Sougo tilted his head to the side. He wore a thin layer of inscrutability on his face. “Because you’re here tonight.”

 _Because you’re here tonight_.

She opened her mouth to clarify exactly what he meant by those words, but he promptly changed the subject.

“Actually, I _am_ a little drunk - I can’t think straight.” Sougo rubbed his face to wipe away the tipsy thoughts. Rising up from his seated position, he placed his hand on her head and ruffled her hair affectionately. “Merry Christmas China. Thanks for the gift.”

In any other situation, she would’ve swatted his hand away or broken his wrist, but she was still absorbing his previous words.

 _Because you’re here tonight_.

“M-merry Christmas,” she managed to stutter before he headed back inside. Kagura rolled the cellphone charm around in her fingers, feeling the dips and curves of the smooth plastic. She had been eyeing it for months, trying desperately to win at those damned gachapon games. All she succeeded in doing was receiving a permanent ban from Shinpachi due to her alleged gacha addiction.

 _Because you’re here tonight_.

What did he mean by that? And why was she so anxiously eager to find out?

 


	10. D*cks, Fortunes and Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okita sougo & kagura are both idiots and deserve each other

Sougo, as a matter of fact, did not have exceptional luck. The hundreds of plastic gachapon spheres littered on the floor of his room was proof enough. It had cost him an entire week’s salary and several days to find that one rare charm, but the look on her face was worth every penny.

Eventually, Kondo forced him to dispose of everything. The hoards of teenage girls seen flocking in and out of his room to buy leftover charms did not leave a good impression on the Shinsengumi. It’s not like he was interested in any of them anyways - there was only one girl that had his complete and undivided attention.

The day after Christmas, he received a text from her. It was a harmless message that went along the lines of: 

_‘Hay... thnx 4 teh present..,.. r U going 2 the shrine 4 New Ears eve?’_

The text was riddled with grammatical errors, but he understood the gist of China’s message. He didn’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the lines of their rivalry, they had almost become....friends? Sure, they still threw sharp-tongued insults and punches at each other, albeit not nearly as much as they used to.

He texted back _: ‘Yes. See you there.’_

When New Year’s Eve finally rolled around, he gave his patrol shift away to a poor unsuspecting officer from the second division, got dressed in his formal _hakama_ and _haori_ , and left for Kanda shrine with Kondo and Hijikata.

The citizens of Edo were clad in their expensive kimonos, handing out _otoshidama_ and _mochi_ to the younger children. Amidst the colourful crowd, he spotted some equally colourful figures.

“I see trouble coming,” Hijikata mumbled as he reached for a cigarette.

Gintoki walked up to them, munching loudly on a sticky ball of dango _._ “ _You_ see trouble? You’re the real trouble in this town, you shitty nicotine addict.” He made no efforts to eat with his mouth closed - tiny bits of half-chewed dango landed on Hijikata’s clean kimono.

Kondo stepped in between them. “Now, now. Calm down everyone. Today is a day for celebration and relaxati- wait, is that Otae-san? Otae-san! Over here! You’re looking beautiful as ever!”

The usual suspects of the Yorozuya group sauntered up to them, human and non-human alike.

Otae gasped, “My goodness! I didn’t know they allowed gorillas at this shrine. Someone call animal control!”

“No, wait it’s me! Your Isao! Remember?!”

Otae started pummeling Kondo to a pulp. Hijikata was trying to turn Gintoki into minced meat with his sword. Shinpachi was desperately trying to stop them from killing each other and everyone around them. It was like a well-rehearsed play. All the actors knew their parts and executed them flawlessly.

“Hey Sadist.”

That voice peeled his attention away from the violent brawl occurring in front of his eyes. The sight of China in a silky red kimono with her hair tied up was enough for his voice to catch in his throat. He wasn’t the type to be speechless, nor was he the type to let appearances blind him; he could read right through people and he knew behind that innocent, girlish facade was a temperamental demon lying in wait.

“Hey,” Sougo greeted nonchalantly. “You look....”

_Beautiful. Stunning. Breathtaking._

“Decent.”

It was the best he could manage because there was no way anyone in this damned city would let him forget the fact that he complimented someone, let alone his arch nemesis.

Kagura’s eyes were wary, like an animal inspecting a baited trap. “Uh, thanks. You too?”

Sougo whipped his head around at the _clank_ of sharpened steel against rocky gravel - Hijikata had dropped both his sword from his hand and cigarette from his mouth. “Sougo... you....”

“Did you just say something... _nice_ to her?” Kondo asked through a mouthful of blood. Behind his horribly disfigured face, he looked perplexed.

“Is it really that surprising? I’m nice all the time.”

Gintoki snorted. “That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. Are you hittin’ on our Kagura-chan? Do you have a death wish?! Do you want me to write your name in my Death Note?!”

“Gin-chan, stop!” Kagura stomped her foot to create a sizeable crater in the ground. “He can’t help it. I look so pretty today that men can’t control themselves.”

Sougo rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t go _that_ far... your standard for appearances is pretty low to begin with.”

“What did you say bastard?!”

“You heard me.”

Their one moment of shared civility was like dropping a pebble into a placid lake. The ripples disrupted the usual stillness of the water, but once they settled, the water became stagnant again.

This was good. Why disrupt something that was fine the way it was? The last thing he wanted was to lose the relationship he had with her and acting on his selfish thoughts seemed like a surefire way to destroy that. He could wait, even if that meant waiting until she showed something more than annoyance towards him.

“Let’s all get our shrine fortunes now, shall we?” The elder Shimura sibling released her iron grip around Kondo’s collar, who was crumped into an injured ball at her feet.

Kagura turned around and asked, “How long are you going to space out for? Are you coming or not?”

The animosity from before was gone - the ghost of a smile lingered on her lips. Nodding, he replied with a rare smile of his own.

 

* * *

 

At some point, they had gotten separated from the rest of the group because a certain individual wanted to sample foods from every single food stall before getting a shrine fortune. Kagura stuffed her face with fried noodles, candied chestnuts, riceballs, sweet rolled omelettes, marinated vegetables, and sukonbu within the span of a single hour.

She moaned, “Guuuh.... I feel sick....”

“You deserve it. Why do you always overeat?”

“There are so many delicious foods on Earth to try. I get too excited.” She clutched her stomach. “Help me loosen my kimono!”

“You want me to _what_?”

Kagura turned so her back was facing him. “It’s on too tight! I can’t breathe.”

“Idiot. It’s only because you stuffed yourself too much.” Sougo took the stiff fabric of her _obi_ into his hands and began to undo the bow. She was a head shorter than him and he found himself bending down to untie her sash. How could someone so petite and small pack such a mean punch?

Sougo retied the fabric, making sure to leave extra room for her bulging stomach. “There. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Kagura released a satisfied sigh, turning her neck to peer over her shoulder. “Wow, you’re pretty good at this.”

“I used to help my sister tie hers.” Sougo shrugged.

There it was again. That out-of-place friendliness that was uncharacteristic of both of them, but felt natural nonetheless. As she took off towards the shrine fortunes with her massive dog following behind, he could only wonder what she honestly thought of him. Were they enemies? Friends? Maybe something more?

“Sadist!” She waved at him from a short distance away with a thin slip of paper in her hands. “Over here!”

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, “Yeah, yeah. Lower your voice.” It wasn’t going to do him any good dwelling on those thoughts.

Kagura read her fortune out loud for him. “It says here that I’ll have good luck in the spring and that if I want to gravel, then I should do it soon. Gravel? What does that mean?”

“It says _travel_ , moron.” Sougo plucked the paper out of her hands and continued to read it, despite her attempts to snatch it back. “Not a great year for business, you’ll find something important that you’ve lost and.......”

“What? What else does it say?”

Sougo cleared his throat before mumbling, “You’ll fall in love with a close friend.”

He could spot the exact moment her emotions changed from eagerness to uncertainty.

“These fortunes get more ridiculous each year,” she laughed nervously. “You don’t believe in them, do you?”

No, he didn’t. Okita Sougo wasn’t a man to believe in luck, fortune, or fate. He believed in working hard to get what you wanted and defeating whoever got in the way. Even then, the next words that came out of his own mouth shocked him.

“I believe in this one.”

He knew he was unpredictable, but this was something else entirely. Screw the idea of waiting - he wasn’t going to dawdle around anymore.

“Listen, China. Answer me seriously. What do you think of me?”

Kagura took the slip of paper back and ran her fingers over the ink. Without a moment’s hesitation, she replied, “You’re a pain in my ass. You have the same dead-fish look in your eyes as Gin-chan, and you have a sister complex.”

He was _trying_ to confess, but she was making it awfully difficult. His foot moved forward, closing the distance between them. “Let me rephrase that. What do you think of me as a man?”

Kagura glared straight up at him. “Are you insecure about your d*ck size? You should talk to the gorilla about any personal issues you have, not me.”

This girl was infuriating. The tips of his fingers were inching towards the hilt of his sword. If she was dead, then all of his problems would be gone. It would only take one clean cut to the neck. “You know what? You really are as dumb as you look.”

“You wanna fight? I’ll beat you up in front of all of Kabukicho.” Kagura rolled up her bulky kimono sleeves.

“As tempting as that is, the fireworks are starting.”

Kagura clambered onto Sadaharu’s back and exclaimed, “Oooh, I _love_ fireworks!” Any thought of inciting violence disappeared as her face lit up with the same radiance as the colourful pyrotechnic display in the sky.

He wouldn’t confess again, not until he was sure of her feelings for him.

China was well worth the wait.


	11. The Truth Hurts But Not As Much As The Fact That Gintama Is Ending In 5 Chapters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter! shout out to the shitsengumi crew for their support ❤️ also I am on vacation now so the next update might be delayed! 
> 
> once again, comment/kudos if you like this fic! :)

Kagura sighed.

Gintoki’s incessant whining was replaying through her mind like a broken, scratchy record on loop.

_‘Sugar! I need sugar! What’s the point of Valentine’s Day if I don’t have sugar?!’_

When Kagura finally left the house to purchase sweets for him, she was pretty sure he was still slumped over his desk in a glucose-related coma. Luckily for her, there was a huge selection of candy and chocolates on sale at the convenience store; varying hues of bright red and pink assaulted her eyes. Her gaze raked over the different brands and flavours until she decided on some strawberry creme-filled cookies. She picked up a packet of fruit candies for Shinpachi and even considered buying a small box of chocolates for _him_ , but immediately rejected the idea. Even if it was obligatory chocolate, it was still too embarrassing to consider.

On her way to the cash register, she passed a salesman advertising his latest product on top of a white table. He greeted, “Hey young lady! Come here for a second. Try our new brand of chocolate!”

She briefly inspected the small rectangular piece of milk chocolate before popping it into her mouth. As she chewed, a mildly bitter taste spread across the surface of her tongue.

“Mister, this chocolate has gone bad. It tastes funny.” The sensation in her mouth soured, as did her expression.

He stroked his chin. “That’s weird... no human should be able to detect the serum inside. Maybe this batch is no good.”

“I’m not human, uh huh! And what do you mean by serum?” 

“For Valentine’s Day, we’re marketing our _Confession Chocolate_! It’s spiked with our newly developed truth serum which will help you confess to your loved one! But sales haven’t been so good lately... I wonder why....”

“Because its a stupid idea you rotten geezer!” Kagura grabbed his collar and dragged him over the table, knocking the display of chocolates over the ground. “When does it kick in?! When does it wear off?!”

“T-the effects are instantaneous and i-it takes eight hours to wear off! Please d-don’t hurt me!” The salesman cowered in fear at the sight of her fist hovering above him.

“I knew I should’ve listened to Gin-chan - he’s always telling me not to accept stuff from strangers!”

“Miss, please calm down or I’ll have to call the cops!” The employee behind the cash register held up both his hands in a gesture that was meant to sooth her. It did nothing but agitate her further.

“Yeah, go ahead and call them! They can’t do anything anyways!” She released the salesman and walked over his body to retrieve her candy. “I’m taking these!”

“Ah, miss! Wait-“

Kagura stormed out of the store. She had to get home. Fast. If what the salesman said was true, she was going to get into a lot of trouble if her brain was left unhinged.

“Lady, that dress is not doing you any favours!”

The words escaped her mouth before her mind could even process the pure, unfiltered thoughts. The woman passing her on the street who was on the receiving end of her insult took off crying.

Kagura yelled, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it, although I _was_ thinking it!”

As more and more people passed her on the busy streets of Kabukicho - even with her hand clamped over her mouth - the words kept spilling out.

The sound of sirens blared in the distance. It looked like her little disturbance at the convenience store prompted a call to the police after all. 

It didn’t matter. Home was just around the corner. She just had to get past that damned corner!

“Stop right there!” Three police cars were parked right in front of the Yorozuya building. On the roof of the first car stood...

“You stupid _fucking_ sadist!”

“No need for foul language. You’ll hurt this police officer’s feelings.” Sougo’s voice resonated loudly through his megaphone. “I knew you were a criminal, but to assault someone over chocolate is something else. Is _Danna_ not feeding you enough?”

She growled, “Shut up! You don’t know the full story, uh huh!”

“Which is?”

 _I accidentally ingested truth serum and now I can’t lie._

“I accidentally ingested truth serum and now I can’t lie.”

Sougo sighed. “China...enough joking around. We’re taking you in for questioning.”

“Can’t we reschedule? In eight hours? That’s when the effects wear off.”

“I can’t reschedule a criminal interrogation, are you stupid? How long are you going to stick with this ridiculous story of yours?”

“It’s the truth!”

“Tch. Fine. I’ll have to take you by force.” Sougo dropped his megaphone and gripped the hilt of his sword.

Kagura spat, “Over my dead body! Just because you’re a _little_ good-looking, you think you can do whatever you want!”

His face revealed a gradient of emotions: the annoyance of having to deal with an unruly criminal in the early hours of the morning to the shock of being unintentionally complimented by someone who always had something bad to say about him. It took him several seconds to regain his composure. “So you weren’t lying after all. And you think I’m good-looking? I’m flattered.”

There was no use in discussing terms with him. She would have to deal with the mortification some other time - more specifically, eight hours from now. 

Kagura pointed her umbrella in his direction and unleashed a storm of bullets that pierced through their cars. She thought the sudden explosion of glass, metal, and smoke would provide decent cover - long enough for her to get away - but he still remained standing in the middle of the chaos, unfazed.

Just as she thought, he wouldn’t be that easy of an opponent to defeat. And as much as she hated the idea, running was the only option now. She could settle her score some other day.

“Put out this fire! Tanaka, call for back-up!” Sougo ordered, unsheathing his sword. “I’m pursuing the target.”

The sadistic smile he wore foreshadowed the events that would occur if he caught her. She’d much rather bite off her own tongue and bleed out than face a barrage of questions she had no choice but to answer.

Pivoting his right foot and wrist, Sougo changed from a defensive to an offensive stance. She didn’t have the time or mental capacity to counter his oncoming attack - the tip of his blade caught her plastic bag in the ensuing scuffle. Strawberry creme-filled cookies exploded from their packaging, providing a momentary distraction long enough for her to land a swift kick to his chest. 

Kagura’s eyes darted around frantically, searching for a temporary hideout while her enemy was recovering from the direct blow.

Her feet hit the ground at a pace equivalent to the rapid heartbeat pounding in her ears. Over and over again she fell, scraping her knees and palms until they were bloody and bruised. A narrow alley tucked in between a bookstore and small house was the perfect place to hide. She pressed herself against the wall, noting the cool temperature of the concrete on her flushed, sweaty skin.

Eight hours of hiding. She could do that.

As the minutes ticked by, her pulse eventually slowed down to a regular rhythm. Calming instrumental music poured out from the window of the house nearby.

She whispered, “I’ve gotten myself into a big mess again... Gin-chan and Shinpachi are going to be so mad at me....”

“That should be the least of your worries.”

Kagura released a horrified scream from the depths of her lungs. Her rival, out of breath and disheveled, placed his forearm against the wall to support himself.

“Y-you! How did you find me?!”

Sougo inhaled deeply to stabilize his breathing. He replied, “Look down.”

The plastic grocery bag still hung around the crook of her arm and upon further inspection, she saw that Shinpachi’s packet of fruit candies were sliced open. She had literally left him a colourful trail to her hiding spot.

He gripped her arms and restrained them firmly behind her back. “You have the right to remain silent, but I have a feeling you won’t be.”

The sensation of cold metal handcuffs clamped around her wrists sent her into a wild panic. “Wait, wait, wait! I’ll do anything! Just let me off easy for today! Please!”

“No way. You still owe me...” He started counting down the fingers on one hand. “Six favours. You’re not in any position to bargain.”

“Then you can go to hell! Corrupt ass cop! Your so-called justice system is just a way to steal money from the poor and give to the rich!”

“Mmhm. Keep talking. You’re only making it worse for yourself.” He kept one arm pressed against her back as he reached for his walkie talkie to report to his subordinates. “Target acquired. Heading back to headquarters now.”

“Tax-robber! Sis-con! Cocky bastard! Yoshizawa Ryo wannabe! Your mother is a XX!”

The words spewed out of her mouth like vomit; she couldn’t stop them even if she wanted to.

Sougo flipped her around so her face wasn’t pressed uncomfortably against the rough concrete wall. “China, we’re going to have a lot of fun today.”

“Sadistic asshole!”

“A _good-looking_ sadistic asshole. Tell me, what other praises can you sing?”

“You’re a skilled swordsman! The only one worthy of challenging me! You smell good all the time, like that expensive brand of laundry detergent that Gin-chan is too cheap to buy! And I don’t know, I think... I think....”

Sougo laughed, “Go ahead. Spit it out.”

“I think I might like you!”

The truth she had been unwilling to admit was finally out in the open.

The amused smile on Sougo’s face was long gone, along with the atmosphere from before. His gaze was dark and unreadable. “China...”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

Tears stung at her eyes. As if having her inner emotions laid bare for all to see wasn’t bad enough, she was _crying_ in front of him.

Kagura gritted her teeth and broke the metal restraints around her wrists. She pushed past him, ignoring the mess of candy around their feet, his concerned expression, and the tears falling freely down her cheeks.

Sougo called out after her. “China, wait!”

If there was one thing she was thankful for, it was the fact that he didn’t chase after her. She couldn’t handle being alone with him. Not now.

Humiliated, she cast aside the plastic bag hanging around her arm, long forgetting the box of obligatory chocolates inside.

It’s not like he would’ve accepted stolen chocolate anyways. 


	12. Without Bambi's Mom, There Wouldn't Be Bambi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! this is a relatively short update - i have officially started university again & i have a super jam-packed schedule, so i am taking a brief hiatus from this fic. 
> 
> if i have time, i'll try to update but i can't make any promises :(
> 
> thanks for all those who have supported this fic until now - i appreciate it & really enjoy reading all the comments you guys leave behind! hope to see y'all soon :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also FYI! in this fic (i know the timeline is kinda messed up), but kagura being a bit older (17 years old-ish?)

In the next few days, Sougo looked everywhere.

The park, the movie theatres, the local restaurants, the library, and even the pachinko parlour (just in case she picked up more bad habits from the wavy-haired leader of the Yorozuya). She was nowhere to be found. Visiting her didn’t seem like an inviting idea; she had probably spilled the beans about their argument to the entire Yorozuya household. Even so, he had to make things right. He expected a lot of things from her, but crying was not one of them. He had fucked up. He knew if he pushed too hard, she would reach her limit. Yet, he kept pushing.

While he was ecstatic at the prospect of having his feelings returned, he was also ridden with guilt for making the girl he cared for cry. His newly discovered sincerity was doing amazing things for his sadism. 

Sougo stood in front of the Yorozuya building. He had been for some time, pacing back and forth and trying to muster up the courage to knock on the door. It was unlike him to be so hesitant.

“Sanji-kun? What are you doing here?”

He glanced up to meet the eyes of a dead fish exiting the building. “It’s Sougo. I’m here on business.”

Gintoki groaned, scratching the back of his head. “Listen, if this has anything to do with Kagura, we already cleared that incident up with your chief.”

“I just need to speak to her about something.”

“Good luck, she’s been holed up in her room for days. She won’t even come out when I offer her sukonbu. Girls her age are so hormonal.” Gintoki stumbled down the stairs and walked past him, leaving behind the afternoon stench of booze.

Another wave of guilt washed over him. He really did fuck up. As he treaded up the stairs, legs feeling heavy as lead, he wondered if talking to her was just going to make things worse.

 _Better her fully hating me than this awkward tension_.

Sougo knocked on the door three times. “Anybody else home?”

He took the following silence as an invitation. As he took a couple of steps into the building, he noted her purple umbrella resting against the closet door. She rarely left home without it.

 _Here goes nothing_.

Clearing his throat, he approached the closed storage closet. “Hey China. Can we talk?”

And just as he expected, there was no response.

“Please. I need to say some stuff and it’s hard when I’m talking to a damn closet.”

_She was really going to make him do it, wasn’t she?_

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry. I screwed up. I didn’t mean to go _that_ far.” Sougo touched his forehead to the closet door. “Did you catch all of that? I’m not going to repeat myself again.”

She was starting to get on his nerves - how much longer could she ignore him like this? Pounding on the closet with his fist, he yelled, “Oi, China! Talk to me!”

“You’re so loud. Leave me alone.”

Her voice was muffled and filled with disdain, but it was definitely there.

“I’ll leave when I’m finished talking to you. Open the door.”

“Die.”

Sougo inhaled deeply. She was testing his patience. He didn’t want to do it, but she gave him no other option.

“Open the door. You owe me.”

“You really are a piece of shit,” she hissed, venom dripping off the tip of her tongue.

“I’ve been told.”

The door finally slid open. Kagura sat cross-legged, still clad in her pink pajamas, with a deep frown etched onto her lips. Even with her messy bedhead and foul expression, she still managed to look cute. This dense girl had him wrapped around her finger and had no idea. 

Sougo scrutinized her deep azure eyes. They looked like they were staring straight through him. Like a cloudless sky, they were empty and vast. “I want you to listen because I’m only going to say this one more time. I’m sorry.”

“Good to hear. Bye.” She gripped the edge of the door to shut it again.

“Wait!” Sougo jammed his arm in the gap before she could fully close it. “I’m not done yet.”

_It was now or never._

“The truth is I’m pretty fond of you too. You were just too stupid to catch on. I’ve made a real mess and I want to make things right.”

“W-wait, you mean you _like_ me?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Sougo shrugged. “The only thing now is to do something about it.”

The first glimmer of emotion sailed across her blank eyes like a lone cloud. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, maybe an actual date to start? I could take you out on a long walk or something.”

“Screw you - I’m not a dog, uh huh!”

“You know what I mean.”

Kagura pulled her fingers through her tangled hair while avoiding his gaze. After a short minute of consideration and combing, she mumbled, “O-okay, fine. A date then.”

“I’ll text you next week?”

With a hasty nod, she slammed the door shut, thus ending the conversation.

Sougo took a step backwards to process what just happened. Even for someone as level headed as himself, he was having a hard time controlling his feelings.

He didn’t stop walking until he was several blocks away from the Yorozuya building. To collect his thoughts, he found secluded comfort in front of a small, quaint teahouse. The lower half of his body, feeling more sluggish and heavy than before, suddenly gave out underneath him. His sword slipped from his belt and clattered noisily onto the ground. His legs were wobblier than a newborn Bambi's.

“Sir, are you alright?” A young waitress poked her head out of the teahouse, balancing a tray of hot drinks with her right hand.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry - just let me sit out here for a while okay?”

Sougo lowered his head, hiding the satisfied smile yanking at his lips. 

He had a date.


	13. Love Is War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof, sorry for the super late update!
> 
> school has been really crazy so this chapter isn't the best... but that just the way it be on this bitch of an earth....

“Gin-chan, this is what happens when you don’t listen to the old hag. We all have to suffer.”

Using the inside of her forearm, Kagura wiped the sticky sweat accumulating on her brow. They had been sweeping, scrubbing, and dusting every inch of _Snack Otose_ for the last three hour _s_ ; the small pub hadn’t been cleaned in months. What better way to tidy up the place than recruiting the three lazy tenants upstairs that couldn’t pay their monthly rent?

Gintoki grunted, “It’s not my fault work has been slow. We need to start stealing pets so their owners can pay us to find them again.”

“Hey... we’ll just be criminals at that point...” Shinpachi muttered under his breath.

“Think about it - it’s easy money for an easy job. What’s not to love?”

From behind the front counter, Otose barked, “Enough blabbering - get back to work! You still need to polish the dishes and cups. I want all of this done before dinner time.”

Gintoki pointed the dirty end of his mop at her. “Yeah, yeah, I got it! Stop your yammering!”

“I’ll stop my yammering when you stop your blabbering!”

“I’ll stop my blabbering when you stop your yammering!”

Kagura set down her dustpan and broom. “Actually I can’t stay. I have plans tonight.”

“What sort of plans could you possibly have?” Gintoki asked scrutinizingly.

If she told him she had a date with Okita Sougo, sadistic Shinsengumi Captain of the first division, much less a date with _anybody_ , he would definitely freak out _._ It was not a conversation she was willing to have.

“I have plans with Soyo-chan,” Kagura lied through her teeth. “She’s treating me to dinner at her house.”

“Must be nice to have friends in high places,” Shinpachi mused.

“Go ahead. I’ll make sure this idiotic perm finishes up here.” Otose brought her cigarette to her lips, took one last puff, and extinguished the butt in an ashtray.

 

* * *

 

He was definitely going to be mad at her.

The text message he sent her yesterday confirmed their meet-up time: 6:00PM in front of the _O-Edo_ movie theatre. And if the time displayed on her cellphone was correct, she was already twenty-five minutes late. She didn’t even have time to change into a nicer dress; her red _cheongsam_ was speckled with bleach stains and the smell of lemon-fresh floor cleaner.

Fortunately for her, Kagura spotted him easily in the busy throng of movie goers. She swallowed the solid lump in her throat as their eyes met across the crowd. His were unreadable like always.

This was supposed to be their first official date - why did it feel like she was walking to the gallows instead?

Her lips parted to utter a hasty apology, but he beat her to it. 

“Don’t worry about it. We can catch the next showing in fifteen minutes.”

“I’m sorry. Gin-chan blew all of his money at pachinko so we had to clean the pub for hours,” Kagura explained. “I barely escaped dishwashing duty.”

“That explains why you look like shit.”

“Shut up! I didn’t have time to change!”

“You also have dirt on your face.” Sougo brought the sleeve of his _keikogi_ to her face and rubbed the soft fabric against her skin. 

Kagura turned her head away and massaged her cheek with her fingertips like it would somehow prevent the rosiness from spreading across her face. If this was how the evening was going to go, she needed a better way to hide her embarrassment. Unlike him, she was easy to read.

_You just need to get through this movie. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t give him_ _the satisfaction. He’s still the same sadistic asshole he was the first day you met him. Nothing’s changed._

The rapid pounding of her heart wasn’t nothing. The chaotic swarm of butterflies in her stomach wasn’t nothing. Whatever _this_ was, it definitely wasn’t nothing.

 

* * *

 

Someone was jostling her arm; her eyes fluttered open. The end credits were rolling down the big screen. Kagura realized, to her horror, that she had fallen asleep during the movie and used his shoulder as a headrest. She immediately put some distance between them and wiped the corner of her mouth. “W-why didn’t you wake me?”

“You were sleeping so soundly. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

She blinked. That wasn’t the answer she expected from him.

“The movie wasn’t that interesting anyways. It’s not like you missed much.” Yawning, Sougo stretched his arms above his head. “Are you hungry? Wait - that was a stupid question.”

Kagura exhaled sharply through her nose. “I hope you brought enough money with you. I’m not a cheap date.”

“I figured as much.”

As Sougo led her through the aisle, avoiding the scattered mess of popcorn and movie snacks strewn across the floor, she wondered if there was really another layer of his personality she hadn’t witnessed yet - the one reserved for his late sister.

After they escaped the post-movie hoard of people, he brought her to a restaurant several blocks away. The interior had decals of cute cartoon animals plastered on the walls and fragrant pink flowers in small clay pots hanging from the ceiling. It was obvious that he had chosen this restaurant solely for her. It was far too feminine and floral for his tastes.

“They have a big dessert menu here too. Thought that’d be something you’d like,” Sougo explained as their waitress led them to an isolated table in the corner. He turned to the young waitress and said, “Also, we don’t need to see the menu. We’ll just order one of everything.”

“Sir, are you catering for a large party? Do you need them in take-out containers?”

“No thanks.”

The woman looked perplexed but acknowledged the bizarre order and hurried back to the kitchen.

“Is my appetite really that strange?” Kagura fiddled with her cloth napkin.

“Since when do you care about what other people think?” Sougo leaned back in his seat.

“I don’t...”

“You care about what _I_ think, don’t you?”

She dropped the napkin onto her lap and scoffed. “Hah! You wish.”

Sougo looked away. “Don’t worry. I’ve known you long enough that nothing can surprise me anymore.”

The maroon eyes seated in front of her were closed off like a two-way mirror; _he_ could see everything, but she was staring at a solid wall. She was determined, now more so than ever, to surprise him in a way he would never expect. Venturing into the new unknown with someone she detested for years was full of risks, but if there was anything that could get her heart pumping for real, it was a good old-fashioned challenge.

After all, Gin-chan did tell her that love was like war. If you didn’t go in prepared, you were bound to lose. And there was _nothing_ she hated more than losing.


	14. A New Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello... i'm finally back! 
> 
> i know it's been like 5 months since my last update (sorry for the delay) but school/work/life happened. i'm hoping to update more often now that i've kinda gotten over this long writer's block, so please be patient!
> 
> once again, thanks for reading/commenting/kudos! :)

“Get up. It’s only been half an hour.”

Yamazaki wheezed, “P-please, can we take a short break?”

“If an enemy is out to kill you, do you think they’ll give you five minutes to catch your breath?” Sougo rebuked. “Get up.”

The shaky, sweaty spy reached for the kendo sword that had been knocked out of his grasp.

Illustrating with his own sword, Sougo explained, “When I attack from the left, you’re leaving your entire right side vulnerable. You’re also not bending your knees enough when blocking.”

Yamazaki heaved himself up again with a pained groan.

“Sougo! I need to talk to you!”

“Oh thank God,” Yamazaki fell backwards onto his rear as Kondo strode into the training room, looking far more dignified than usual.

“I’m not done with you yet Yamazaki...” Sougo muttered. “What is it Kondo-san?”

Kondo’s face was unusually stern. “Maybe it’s best if we talk in private.”

“Fine by me.” Sougo walked over to the side of the dojo, picked up his towel and wiped the beads of sweat adorning his forehead. Tiny droplets of perspiration were also dripping down his bare chest, evidence of a long afternoon of sparring matches with members of his squadron. Yamazaki was just one of many others that had gotten their asses whipped into shape, as per Kondo’s orders. Why did Kondo authorize two weeks of overtime for training sessions anyways? It seemed like a wasted effort, but he had long given up questioning his superior officer's bizarre decisions.

Sougo hastily slipped his arms into the _uwagi_ still hanging around his _hakama_ and returned his kendo sword back into the storage closet. The walk to Kondo’s office was a quiet one. With the heavy silence in the air, he could immediately tell something was off.

The older man seated himself solemnly behind his desk, cleared his throat, and started, “You know you’ve always been one of my most trusted men. I would-“

“Cut the crap. Tell me what’s happening.”

“You were never one of my most patient men,” Kondo chuckled. “Very well. To keep it short and simple, I’m sending you on a mission. You and a handful of your best men.”

“Is this what the extra training has been about?”

“Yes. There’s been a growing group of rebel forces that’ve expressed their dislike for the current shogunate to say the least. They're presenting a real threat now so I need you to keep a close eye on them.

“Is that it? Sounds easy enough.”

Kondo took a prolonged breath. “They’re operating in _Bushuu_.”

Sougo blinked and repeated, “ _Bushuu_?”

“I know it’s far. The only reason I’m asking you to go is because you know the area better than anybody else.”

The rural village brought back both pleasant memories of his late sister and unpleasant ones of a certain vice-commander. Either way, it was home at one point for all of the founding Shinsengumi members. He hadn’t been back in years and the thought of returning without his sister didn’t sit well with him.

“When do we have to leave?” Sougo asked.

“As soon as possible. Bring nine men with you. You’ll take a squad car to this safehouse here,” Kondo slid a paper map over the table that extensively outlined the topography of the Musashi province. “From there on you’ll travel by foot to this area here. That’ll be your temporary headquarters for the mission.”

His eyes briefly scanned over the numerous red pins and marks on the map. “And how long are we stationed?”

With Kondo’s hesitance in responding, Sougo already knew the answer. “Until the geezer calls it off. Got it.”

Kondo sighed, “I’m sorry. You know how Matsudaira is. There will be another debriefing tonight - we’re hoping to get our men mobilized tomorrow afternoon. I would’ve given you earlier notice but I didn’t find out myself until this morning."

“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “Not much you could’ve done. I’ll start packing now.”

He would take Yamasaki of course. This was one of the rare times his stealth training would actually come in handy. Maybe he’d take Kamiyama and Kumanaku too. Before all of that, he would need to pack his essentials, take a shower, and get out of his sweaty training clothes. The more he thought about it, the more the throbbing in his head intensified. After all, there was one more thing he had to take care of before he left.

 

* * *

 

When Sougo spotted her at the park, an hour before sunset, he caught the slightest hint of contempt clouding her pale face. Her signature accent even had an irritated quality to it when she said, “This better be important, uh huh! I’m in the middle of a job.”

_You’d think she’d be somewhat happy to hear from me._

Granted, he wasn’t the best at communicating over the phone and it _had_ been two weeks since he last saw her, and that was only to issue a ticket to the Yorozuya for flagrant loitering. With their busy schedules, it was hard to meet up and even harder to do something they both agreed on.

“You’ll be back to catching lost cats soon enough. Sit down.” Sougo gestured to the empty spot on the bench next to him.

Kagura plopped herself down unceremoniously onto the bench, sans umbrella due to the overcast weather above. “So, what couldn’t wait?”

“I’m leaving Edo for an assignment. Something to do with a band of rebels in the countryside. Kondo just told me today.”

“You’ll be back though, yes?”

“Eventually. Sometimes these things can take weeks, even months to wrap up.”

Kagura remained silent for a while. He reciprocated the silence.

She inevitably sighed, “You couldn’t have put this in a text message? Do whatever you need to do. Just don’t be an idiot and get yourself killed, or I’ll kill you myself.”

_Ole! Ole! Ka-to-ke-n Samba!_

_Ole! Ole! Ka-to-ke-_

Kagura flipped open her cell phone, promptly putting an end to the irksome ringtone. The familiar plastic charm hanging off from it enlivened his spirits a tiny bit. “Hello?”

Muffled berating resonated from her phone; Sougo could make out some irate insults, probably from the Yorozuya boss.

She hissed into the receiver, “Fine, I will! Stop nagging!”

Absent-mindedly, Sougo reached for the pommel of his sword, an action born from the need to reassure himself in moments of unease and anxiety. It was his safety blanket. The skin of his knuckles tensed white. He didn’t want her to leave just yet.

“I’m sorry. Gin-chan wants me back.”

He didn’t want her to leave at all.

Kagura rose to her feet, patting the wrinkled creases from her _cheongsam._

Before Sougo realized it, the muscles in his hands relaxed as he enveloped her into a warm embrace, quick and unplanned. It was the first time he ever held her like this. The end of his sword was pressing into her ribs. It was awkward in every possible sense of the word. He didn’t care. He rested his chin on the top of her head, inhaling the scent of fruity shampoo. Strawberries? Maybe oranges? He spared a few seconds to commit the distinctive scent to memory.

“Don’t leave yet. Let _Danna_ wait.”

Her frame was dainty, but he knew he was holding a girl capable of breaking his bones like glow sticks. To his surprise (and relief), she made no effort to pull away. Instead he felt her arms tentatively wrap around his back, stopping to rest on his shoulder blades.

Kagura mumbled into his uniform, “It’s your fault if I get into trouble…”

“I’m sure they can survive without you,” he mused back.

“Stupid Sadist.”

He would take the poorly knit scarf she made for Christmas with him, even if it was nothing but a couple of loose wool threads now. He would take the digital photo of her, asleep at the movie theatre on their first date with drool dripping from her mouth.

He would take this moment with him too.


	15. Six Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ironically, this is a rather short chapter given the time skip! 
> 
> once again, thanks for supporting this fic!

It was nineteen days later when he contacted her.

Kagura assumed the cell phone reception wasn’t the best in those rural areas, so she was pleasantly surprised to hear from him. Until she opened his text message.

It was an unflattering photo of her, fast asleep and drooling on his shoulder as he smiled smugly in the dimly lit background. No wonder he didn’t wake her up that day.

It later took Gintoki and Shinpachi hours to fully calm her down.

 

* * *

  

One month and twenty-four days later.

 

* * *

 

Two months and sixteen days later.

Kagura received a digital photograph of a wide landscape. The vast plains of _Bushuu_ ’s interior were riddled with rice paddies and lush greenery, rolling blue hills etched above an unfamiliar golden horizon. It was beautiful.

The caption read, ‘ _wish you were here.’_

 

* * *

 

Three months and three days later.

 

* * *

 

Four months and ten days later.

Her texts wouldn’t send; she kept receiving error messages. Even after Gengai inspected her phone and concluded that the problem was spotty reception on the recipient’s half, she kept trying. It was on a particularly warm spring day when Gintoki handed her a small envelope with no return address. Inside, the letter said:

_Hey China,_

_Hope you like the photos I sent you._ _Work is at a standstill. Life here is so much slower compared to the city. Can you believe I actually miss Edo?_  

_I’m not supposed to be writing to anybody, but what Kondo-san doesn’t know won’t hurt him._

_\- S_

Kagura tucked the letter under her pillow, finding an odd sense of comfort in the fact that she had a little piece of him now.

That night, she dreamt of a countryside she never visited before.

 

* * *

 

Five months later.

Kagura hadn't received any new letters. Every night, her eyes skimmed over the only one she had, memorizing the brushed lines and loops of his handwriting.

He was probably going crazy with boredom having to write letters like a lovesick widow, but waiting was much, much worse. 

 

* * *

  

Five months and twenty nine days later.

The summer sun was at its peak intensity, both in height and temperature. It was on a day like this, approximately one year ago, when she made the idiotic decision to fish in the river without a permit. With her umbrella held high over her head, Sadaharu by her side, and a new letter, she left the house for the same river.

Once she situated herself by the edge of the riverbank, she ripped open the envelope and read the contents.

_Hey China,_

_This mission is taking longer than I thought, but we should be finishing up here. I’ve been craving chuuberts in this heat, so buy me some when I come back. I want the variety pack._

_Stay out of trouble._

_I'll see you soon._

_\- S_

In the corner of her eye, she spotted a small flower fall out of the envelop _e_. She placed it in her palm, admiring the bold, unapologetic reds of the petals against her pale skin. She could imagine him saying how obnoxiously bright it was, how out of place it would be in a field of green, and how it reminded him of her.

Kagura felt the wet tip of Sadaharu’s nose press against her arm. He had the uncanny ability to sense when she was feeling contemplative. Pressing the side of her face into his thick coat, she recalled her awful Bruce Lee impression and near death experience at the river.

It felt like an eternity ago.


End file.
